SITE NEWS Boycott Madonna's Maverick Films' "Material Girls" movie and Paris Hilton's new CD

Please boycott Madonna's film company's rip off Material Girls movie, starring Hilary Duff. It is one of the films ripped off from my copyrighted catalog, a film script synopsis that was over five years old when they stole it. I penned and copyrighted a script titled "My Sister's Keeper" and another called "Contemporary Girl" after my song of the same name featured on this site, which Madonna and co. later ripped off and renamed the script "Material Girl" after her song of the same name then "Material Girls."

Their criminal copyright infringing film Material Girls is a rip off of my script and the theme of my song "Contemporary Girl" about modern female CEOs. It has nothing to do with Madonna's song "Material Girl" about using men for their money. My script was about two sisters fighting for control of a family owned company, of which one was the CEO. That is the plot for Material Girls the movie.

Proving once again Madonna belongs nowhere near a film set in any capacity, whether it be acting, production or otherwise, the previews of this film reeks. Pure fluff. Inane nonsense. They stole my 2001 script and tried to turn it into 2004's Mean Girls 2. 

Please boycott Paris Hilton's new atrocious CD (It stinks anyway, you're not missing anything, I've heard the clips) where she ripped off items from my already copyrighted work that she got from fellow Kabbalah cult member and the label they share, Warner Bros. As I wrote in last month's Column, both the video and bass line for Paris' cruddy debut single "Stars Are Blind" were stolen from my copyrighted catalog that Madonna and Warner Bros got their dirty hands on a copy of.

Don't reward them for being thieves that rip off hard working people who actually work to earn a living - instead of stealing everyone else's and relying on money they didn't earn like degenerates.

Please boycott both projects, which are released this August. Thank you.

RANDOM THOUGHTS For People Who Think Randomly

1. Why is it people who have the most material things are often the most dissatisfied in life.

2. Why do people associate money with accomplishment when there are men and women who sleep their way to the top. That's not an accomplishment.

3. You ever wonder why money can't buy class. There are poor people who have style, grace and manners - yet there are rich who appear to get dressed in the dark and don't have basic common courtesy. There was a modest earning English singer who designed clothes and she made an $8 thrift store dress look like a masterpiece. While a few other music attendees at the show wore very expensive dresses that simply looked gaudy.

4. Why is Tom everyone's friend on My Space. He must be well connected and get a lot of birthday gifts (just kidding, I know he's on staff):

ART The Mona Lisa    

The Mona Lisa  

The Mona Lisa is thought of as a symbol of beauty, but tell the truth, she was a chick with a bad brow job.

If someone did that to your eyebrows you’d be mad. If one of your friends left a salon with her brows like that, you’d be like, “Girl, what did they do to you?!”

OK, I was wrong for that joke. You know I will never be accepted in any formal art museum after making a joke about the Mona Lisa, right (they better if they know what’s good for them - joking).

Seriously, what is that - the Brazilian wax for brows or something?

TRAVEL Aisha’s Rules Of Air Travel And Bargain Hunting 

(Aisha sounding like a network expose reporter) Rates too good to be true? Do read the fine print, as some deals just aren’t deals at all. Some airlines to avoid: 

1. If the lowest rate is by an airline called “Air Osama” whose slogan is “Americans Welcomed” pass that one up.  

2. If it’s an airline that calls for you to switch planes mid-air, avoid that deal. Dry land connections are always best. 

3. If it’s an airline with the slogan “Never be separated from your luggage” – um, that’s a cargo plane and it’s best to buy your tickets elsewhere. 

4. Many of you alcoholheads have heard the slogan B.Y.O.B. (Bring your own beer). With fuel prices climbing, you may see a slogan that reads B.Y.O.G. (Bring your own gas). Avoid that little discount. The “ticket cheaper if you bring your own gas” isn’t always the best deal. 

5. Aisha Air – Uh, I don’t have an airline. 

6. Eron air…ok, that’s basically self-explanatory.  

Speaking of that… 

I saw a show on a news channel in my hotel room on June 30, 2006, where the host, Anderson Cooper (ooo they are so trying to out you – they want to superman you), noted Al Qaeda’s technological capabilities in the professionally produced terrorist threat video they released.  

In the last Column on June 26, 2006, I commented that they clearly have technology in place. That video is more proof that they do.

The video I saw a clip of on the news that was released on the 30^th had titles and lighting. Who does he think he is, Osama Spielberg?  

You know what really ticked me off – those terrorists are using better film editing software than me. Oh the injustice!   

CELEBRITY The Official Negro Picture Pose

Two talented entertainers illustrating the official Negro Picture Pose (LOL - work it):

Cedric the Entertainer (left) and Terrence Howard (right) @ the Essence Music Festival

Speaking of Cedric, here's a pic of him with his adorable kids:

Cedric: son, smile for the camera like me
Son: OK, Daddy
Daughter: oh no they didn't! look at them embarrassing me in public!

(Just kidding) but his kids are so cute.

CELEBRITY Angelina Jolie Reportedly Given Jennifer Aniston's Part By Pitt

Jennifer Aniston

And the steal Jennifer Aniston's life phase 5 is complete. It was reported that a potential Academy Award winning role that was once Jennifer Aniston's has now been given to Angelina Jolie by her ex-husband and his film production company Plan B (well, not Angelina's ex-husband, Aniston's ex-husband, but what's it matter, as it's Hollywood and pretty soon he'll be Jolie's ex-husband too).

Boy, this is the pits, pardon the pun. It's official - they are trying to make Aniston crazy. She's right, there is a "sensitivity chip missing."

Widow of slain journalist Daniel Perl, Marianne, with their son

I do however want this particular film to be made. It is about the life of journalist Daniel Perl, who I wrote about in the Column in 2003, who was brutally murdered, beheaded, by terrorists for being Jewish. Films like these need to get made, so people can see how terrorism affects innocent bystanders just trying to live their lives. No one deserves to die for being Jewish. It was a terrible waste of life.

However, some good news for Aniston, she won a best legs survey:

"Jennifer Aniston's perfect pins - Jennifer Aniston has the most perfect legs in Hollywood according to a scientific study. The Break-Up actress beat Dukes of Hazzard actress Jessica Simpson and singer Christina Aguilera to the coveted title, in a study carried out by
electronics giant Braun.

Scientists came up with a specific formula, which involves multiplying the proportions of the leg and thigh, and the texture of skin, to calculate the perfect pair of pins.

Due to the "ideal" proportions of her legs and her smooth skin, Aniston scored an impressive 14.67, the highest score of anyone tested.

Dr Aric Sigman, who conducted the study, said: "For men, the ideal leg is shapely, full and smooth with a semi-gloss sheen. Women want the same thing - only two sizes smaller." - Bang Showbiz

LOL @ the last line.

CELEBRITY Peter Cook Scandal 

Supermodel Christie Brinkley’s husband Peter Cook, 47, cheated on her with a 19-year-old girl, Diana Bianchi. A 19 YEAR OLD! (why is one press outlet calling her stunning - the only thing stunning is that he cheated with her. His wife is more fabulous).

19-year-old Diana Bianchi

I saw a brief interview with the 19 year old on TV and she was quite proud of herself  in what she’d done. Why do I say that? Well, during the interview, she was smiling and giggling – proud to be on TV (why is she proud? you're on TV for being a bimbo).

She and Cook should be embarrassed. They broke up a family with two lovely children. She is no victim, regardless of what her lawyers tell her and you.  

She knew exactly what she was doing. She was accepting money and gifts from him that he left all over New York in exchange for the affair. She was selling herself to him.  

Now she’s doing the press rounds and giggling and smiling on TV. What is that? Don’t insult people’s intelligence screaming victim if you're gonna go on TV grinning.  

Show some decorum, already. People feel sorry for humble, contrite people, not prideful ones. The things you do to another in life will come back to you. They need to ask God for forgiveness, as it was wrong, and one way or another it is going to affect two innocent kids, through no fault of their own.   

He clearly has a fascination with teenage girls and one that has now wrecked his life. That kind of proclivity has ruined others as well. I think that’s a bad trait in some men – pursuing and or dating these teenage girls. It is not cute. People are laughing and snickering behind their backs about it, but they trod along thinking it looks cool. It does not.  

As a general rule, the younger the person you date, the older you look - no matter what Botox tells you.

I'm not against women dating someone older, but (men) dating teenage girls when you're in your forties (even in your thirties) looks odd.

Christie Brinkley

Personally, I think Brinkley is the most beautiful woman he’s been associated with. She’s aged so well. I really don’t know what he was thinking. He’s got a beautiful wife and two beautiful kids – but some are never satisfied until it is all threatened or taken away from them.  

That's the problem with famous men, they've got too much time on their hands, too many options and too little morals. 

CELEBRITY Pete Doherty In Rehab Again 

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty [Photo courtesy of VNN]

“Doherty 'cancels gig for rehab' Doherty has been arrested for drug possession several times. Pop band Babyshambles have pulled out of a concert in Ibiza to allow singer Pete Doherty to be treated for his drug addiction, the event promoter has said.” - BBC 

That’s good - at least he’s trying. 

CELEBRITY Britney Spears 

Britney and her son in Vanity Fair

Press-wise, this wasn’t particularly a horrible month for the Britster, but it still wasn’t a good one either:   

Britney Crying Invasion of Privacy 

BRITNEY SPEARS and KEVIN FEDERLINE are furious personal photos of a recent family vacation were stolen and then published in a US publication.

The couple enjoyed a holiday with their son, SEAN PRESTON, and were shocked when their private photos appeared in Us Weekly.

Jive Records has issued a statement on behalf of the pair, in which they claim the couple are evaluating their legal options while the matter is being investigated.

The statement reads: "While the photos depict happy family vacation memories, the couple are nevertheless outraged and saddened that their private family moments appeared in the magazine without their knowledge or consent after the photos were stolen by an unknown perpetrator." Jul 10, 2006, World Entertainment News Network

It's the same thing you all did to me regarding my Copyrighted Catalog that was copyrighted years prior that you lot (Madonna, Spears and co.) gained illegal access to and started criminally publishing under your names making ill-gotten wealth off it. So pardon me if I don't cry that Us Weekly did back to you what you all did to me.

God says you reap what you sow. What you do to others will be done back to you. No one in this world is above that.

However, she and other celebrities apparently think they are above that God installed principle and the law (Well, with Robert Mueller in office @ the FBI, celebrities are above the latter). You maybe above Mueller’s non-existent concept of justice, but you aren’t above God’s law of reaping and sowing that says what goes around comes around.  

She and the main miscreant Madonna in my lawsuit (see lawsuit for those of you who haven’t) not only ripped off what’s been on this site for years (which I can digitally prove, as everything leaves a trial on the internet), they took it a step further and gained criminal access to my private, unreleased Copyrighted Catalog of songs, music videos, scripts, book manuscripts with Madonna passing it around Hollywood to partners, associates and friends like dirty criminals, while Robert Mueller @ the FBI looks the other way. It’s what they’ve been doing to me and it’s quite hypocritical for her to cry about her privacy when they have no respect for mine.  

It’s what you all have done to many people, not just me (you know, like that kid in Indiana who didn’t have enough money to Copyright his song (even though the U.N. says a copyright is established the minute you write something) and used a poor man’s copyright (mailing a copy of the song he wrote to himself in the mail and not opening it)– then years later you and your associates willfully ripped it off, turning it into "Sometimes" – with a corrupt judge later questionably throwing out the case in your celebrity favor (hmm I wonder what brought that about) in spite of the fact that the kid had evidence in which Spears admitted it (an email).

The press reported the songs were almost identical. But Britney doesn't care as long as she get her money to buy hideous clothes and cheetos, who cares if another human being got defrauded. Well, God cares and it's going to bring misfortune in your life. Judging by how rotten things are for her now, it's safe to say it's already started.

If that kid thought he had problems copyrighting before, the price has gone up from $20 to $30 to $45, where it currently sits. That’s going to be a hardship for many writers across the country and around the world, but clearly, copyrighting is for the rich, as only they win in a Hollywood corrupted U.S. Court system, anyway.  

By the way, looking at those pics, I have to ask, what are ya’ll doing to that poor baby why he always looks so stunned: 

Britney "Not That Innocent" And Apparently Not That Nice Either

"I was hanging out a little bit," ex-employee Jon LaLane told In Touch Weekly. "She came out screaming at Kevin for lying around, then looked at me like I was to blame." The next day, LaLane, says he got a call from Spears' people, telling him not to report for work....[Jon] has a band, and he says he and K-Fed would talk music. But, he claims, Spears would get jealous when her hubby talked to anyone else. "She wants Kevin on a leash...She fires everybody. I figured, 'Why not me?' I just didn't expect her to be so mean." He adds: "It's a revolving door there. She's not the nice person everyone thinks she is." - In Touch

Britney Takes People’s Labor For Granted 

A few former bodyguards have sued Britney Spears for non-payment. They said they worked round the clock and were dismissed without pay. And amazingly, that court case where she is clearly in the wrong is going in her favor as well (hmmm wonder why). 

Britney with nanny/bodyguard/personal shopper/McDonalds-food-fetcher Perry (I hope his check clears):

Britney littering (illegal in LA), tossing Cheeto flavored gum out the window:

Britney pondering the deep questions of life, such as "paper or plastic":

It’s not surprising that she didn’t pay them, as look how much multi-tasking she has the new hunky bodyguard doing - bodyguarding (is that a word), nannying (is that a word) and personal shopping. It is clear she takes people’s labor for granted, like their sole existence on the planet is to serve her as some sort of princess, which she is not, while she and K-Fed spend money like water on themselves.   

Speaking of the Federrific one:

K-Fed Dissed By Singer Ne-yo 

"I don't know the guy, but I know people that know him and he seems to be a guy who caught a break. He's a bit of a freeloader. I've done one session for her, but now she's pregnant it may be put on hold for a while. I'm not allowed to talk about her sound though, her people want it kept under wraps." - Handbag.com 

Oh no he didn’t. Wow @ the “caught a break” line. He just put it out there didn’t, he. He said what many others are thinking.  

Considering he’s done work for Spears, Ne-yo should be more concerned that his check clears (LOL). See bodyguard segment above for further reference.    

(below) Kevin fronts the "Save The Penny" campaign. Why? it costs more to make than its monetary value. That's just bad economics:

(above) K-Fed illustrates how much money Britney will have at the current rate they're going.

Angelina Spears Follow Up

A follow up on last month's Column regarding Britney trying to morph into Angelina Jolie. A magazine has expounded on that in great detail this month, pretty much confirming it:

Britney Overexposed

“How Can We Love Britney Spears If She Won’t Go Away? Spears, just a shout away from an eternity in trailer park heaven, rollers in her hair and a caffeinated substance down her gullet on a regular basis, did have an innocent start. The Mickey Mouse Club will do that to a person. Create the illusion of chaste, harmless purity, and nobody will get hurt. 

The problem with “nakedness” in the game plan of a fading pop tart trying to map out the next phase in her career and life is that she will not understand it on an abstract, symbolic level. The nude pregnant cover photo of Spears on the latest “Harper’s Bazaar,” like Demi Moore over a decade ago on the cover of “Vanity Fair,” certainly is both provocative and beautiful. 

Unfortunately, it is also empty. Make-up artists, hair stylists, and Photo Shop magicians have certainly done their job with this photo shoot.” – National Ledger 

Britney Overexposed Some More  

Don't let the cameras bother you, Britney, just dig away:

“I do not understand the current ongoing Britney Spears fascination. I do not understand why the deathly uninteresting ball of neon pink bubblegum can appear with Matt Lauer looking like ten miles of silly ditzy pregnant whi*e trash, all skanky roots and garish makeup and a truly horrible choice in denim miniskirts and the dumbest answers to the easiest softball questions since Tom Cruise revealed his psychotic Xenu persona on Oprah, and yet still appear on the cover of moderately reputable fashion magazines.  

I'm looking at you, Bazaar…Smiling that vacant, I-like-to-stare-at-bunnies smile, like she has no idea, either, what the hell she's doing there. 

So then. I do not get it. BS has turned from moderately interesting white trash pop diva with a cute n' highly marketable Madonna/whore complex, into... what, exactly? Why is she still on magazine covers? Why is anyone interested? What am I missing? Am I just not drunk enough? Where is my mallet?” - San Francisco Chronicle 

She’s pleaded for privacy, but refuses to leave the limelight. She’s always calling new interviews and hamming it up for the paparazzi. She clearly loves the attention, but her name has changed for the worst. This isn’t the good kind of publicity. It’s the bad one.     

Britney Stunned Her “Hill Billy” Chic Look Didn't Go Over Well 

Britney scaring America on Dateline NBC - she even scared Steven King of all people, who wrote an article about the episode out of sheer shock, as did Donald Trump.

It’s really evident that from her early teens all she was taught to do is dance, wear skimpy clothes, behave like a lolita and lip-sync. It made the family money and questionably so. She was taught to be a lip-syncing pop star and not much else. Now functioning in the real world and as a parent is seriously throwing her for a loop - it's throwing the baby too - literally...in the air. She is clearly disconnected from reality:   

“Pregnant pop star Britney Spears was so devastated by the negative reaction she received after her appearance on news show "Dateline," she chopped off all her hair and dyed it black to help her image. The singer received a barrage of criticism for appearing on the show in a sheer, low-cut top, denim mini-skirt and flip-flops earlier this month. 

She reportedly insisted on doing her own hair and makeup for the interview and was slammed for appearing "disheveled" with the New York Post reporting that fans called her hair a "rat's nest." 

A source tells Us Weekly after the interview, "She felt terrible. She pulled out her extensions and bought a bottle of dark hair dye. She didn't understand her image problem until the negative feedback about Dateline." – Star Pulse 

Site Bets “On How Bad A Mom Britney Will Be” 

Boy her PR has taken quite a dip. A gambling site is offering odds you can bet on of how bad a mom Britney will be.  

While I do not endorse gambling, regarding Britney, oh, how the pseudo-mighty have fallen. Cause when the gamblers are taking odds on you failing, you know you’ve messed up.  

“Bet on how bad of a mother Britney Spears will be. How Will Britney Spears endanger her children next before 12/31/07? 

This is one of my favorite props of all time. It assumes two key things in this issue. First, that Britney Spears regularly endangers her child’s life. Second, that she will continue to do so. It’s not a matter of if, but a matter of when and how. That is simply great. We all know Britney’s a bad mother, but now we can wager on just how bad she will be. 

The smart money would be with K-Fed babysitting, as he’d probably accidentally start caring for a stuffed animal that bears a vague resemblance to a polar bear instead of watching the kid. Still, I can’t help but be intrigued at the Speed Boat prop. I’m a gambler, I like to take chances on things, and anytime a Speed Boat is involved, we all win.” - TOW News 

And the good bad publicity continues…  

“And the Lizzie for ‘Most Fascinating and/or Anticipated Celebrity Train Wreck of the Year’ goes to...Britney Spears.” 

“In the past 12 months, Britney Spears has managed to go from pop royalty to train wreck. To add a little perspective and underscore the magnitude of Britney's achievement, keep in mind that it took Michael Jackson at least a decade to achieve the same metamorphosis. 

Where once we abashedly watched as Britney flouted such conventions as taste, age appropriateness and sexuality, we now stare horrified as she calls her parenting skills, marital state and sanity into question. Well done, Brit! 

In a break with Celebritology Honors tradition, I'd like to take this opportunity to offer Britney a little advice that will (hopefully) keep her far from this category next year:  

Get out of the public eye until at least 2007, stop posting goofy poetry to your Web site, raise your children and enjoy their first years. If K-Fed's doing you wrong kick him to the curb, ease up on the Frappacinos and treat your body right -- all of the above will pay off both physically and mentally, preparing you to mount an odds-defying comeback in a couple of years. In short: strong Britney! – Washington Post 

You know your career is in trouble when the press and public are begging you to leave the limelight. It’s a sentiment reiterated all over the internet by the product buying public.  

...And speaking of someone who the public is really begging to leave the limelight, even more than Britney...

CELEBRITY Paris Hilton

Photo and caption from Yay Sports

And in prostitution news, Paris Hilton redid her criminal copyright infringing video "Stars Are Deaf Blind"…and it still stinks. The bashing she got from all corners of the internet over that video was too much for the flamingoed floozy to bare.

It’s funny, in her self-sparked rivalry with Nicole Richie, who she says she is better than, because nobody cares about Nicole according to Paris (this will come as a shock to her family, who by all appearances care about her) - Richie actually can sing and is far more believable as an artist than Paris.  

The internet blogs have joined forces to give Paris' CD the thumbs down and the we're-not-buying-you-face, as in turn it down:

Pic caption from PITNB

Hilton is not believable as an artist at all. In her video she looks like a porn star and her singing is thoroughly computerized – that an artist does not make. After the critical and verbal flogging she received last month from this site and others that I kindly posted on here for the not so smart Hilton and Warner Bros to read (I know you all frequent this site - according to the stats) they redid the video, but audiences still hate her:

"Do-over! Paris Hilton Remakes her Music Video

Paris Hilton just shot another video for her single, Stars Are Blind. This one has a "concept" and is not just frolicking on the beach. Though, um, there's still tons of that. 

Basically it's even more of a *** up than the first one - now its a mash of the gross PDA on the beach that we saw in the first music video interspersed with random photo shoots of Paris on said beach - (some that are vaguely, disturbingly S&M). It makes no sense! Is she playfully cavorting on the beach or is she doing a some strange fetish shoot? With Paris, I guess the one is the other. 

Look out for the end where a photo shoot turns naughty and the camera moves to the bedroom, which of course directly recalls her other famous video. The girl has NO shame! Actually, I bet she thinks it's clever and funny. Which it would be if clever meant stupid and funny meant lame." - varsity.co.nz 

More, um, public critiquing of clips and leaked materials from her so called CD featured later in the Column.

And don't forget to boycott her CD that comes out in August 2006 for she and Warner Bros criminally ripping off my copyrighted work for that trash, as was done with ringleader and perpetual thief Madonna click here for more info.

Paris Smoking Weed In Public Again

What is this, like the 3rd time she's been seen smoking weed in public. Kids at home, don't try this, as only celebrities are allowed to break the law and get away with it. You do this and you will go to jail. From TMZ this month:

Paid To Prostitute 

"If you see pictures of me out I'm being paid. When I turn up at an event it is work.” – Paris Hilton

So when you go out to clubs, publicly get drunk, grind on some random man, dance like a whore and deliberately flash people via poorly worn outfits that you strategically like to lift up for the cameras (gross) – you're working, then? That’s usually called being a stripper or prostitute, but if you say so Paris.  

Paris Says "Eat Carbs" 

"Enjoy life, eat carbs at night if you want. You can always dance the calories off. I'm always on the go and that burns plenty of calories. I'm really lucky that I have a naturally good figure." 

According to singer Pink you puke "the calories off."

Paris Karma?

The fashion police ought to lock you up for life for that get up - and have the nerve to criticize other people's clothes:

"God gives you good karma if you work hard and play nice.” You’re religious? “Yes, Catholic.” Do you keep a Bible by your bed? “No.” Just a camcorder? At this, the smart blonde flicks her hair and deadpans, “Whatever, man. At least I’ll always be remembered.” - The Times UK

Oh Paris, queen of the valley girls, God does not give karma, as that's is not a Christian term.

And considering the amount of relationships you've broken up, homes you've broken up, people you've stepped on and threatened (you know - threatening to put a hit on the promoter who told your ex-boyfriend you have herpes and trying to get your then boyfriend's ex-girlfriend Greek heiress with more money than you (is it just me or are Greek people really rich) thrown out of a club (which they refused) and going up to her, tapping her on the shoulder and "whispering in her ear ‘you’re a ******g b**** and I’m going to destroy you", then proceeding to plant a defamatory, nasty story in the press about her that you made up out of your feeble-mindedness, about her stealing a $4,000,000 necklace off your flamingo-esque neck and threatening you, which never happened - you should be concerned about your "karma." I said that in one breath (and apparently in one long run on sentence).

"Always be remembered"? Based on reports her mother was very loose (like mother like daughter) and married well (into the Hilton family), hence Paris, but she thinks she is better than everyone else. Hardy royal lineage.

What have you done that is noteworthy (porn doesn't count). There have been people like you in the past. Remember them? Ah, you don't do you. Point proven. Actually accomplish something of value - those are the people who are remembered.

“It's Official: Paris Hilton Most Over-Hyped Celeb”

Paris receives an award befitting her status:  

“We can safely declare the winners of the inaugural edition of the annual Celebritology Honors (aka The Lizzies). Celebrity Most Likely to be Insignificant if it Weren't for the Paparazzi and Celebrity Tabloids/Blogs…And the Lizzie goes to... Paris Hilton. 

Paris couldn't be here to accept this award so I'll just congratulate her on her talent for staying in the news while doing approximately nothing. The unprecedented interest in her social life, catfights with equally the vapid Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan and a string of romances with Greek shipping heirs have transformed this scion of a hotel fortune into tabloid gold. Over the next year we'll be taking bets watching to see whether Paris parlays her "Simple Life" into a lucrative singing career or, like, continues to trade on her ability to create a void and still trail hordes of breathless paparazzo in her wake.” - Reuters 

And the awards just keep rolling in:

"Most Inane Comment, Demonstrating Complete Self-Absorption and Cluelessness” 

The nominees:

- Britney Spears on driving with infant Sean Preston on her lap: "I can't go anywhere without someone judging me. You know. I did it with my dad. I'd sit on his lap and I'd drive. We're country."

- Kevin Federline on child rearing: "My kids are going to work at Taco Bell, da**it."

- Paris Hilton on cigarettes: "Smoking is so sexy. It's like so cool how you all smoke everywhere in the U.K."

- Tom Cruise jokes about Scientology births and the then-anticipated birth of his child with Katie Holmes: "I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm going to eat the cord and the placenta right there." 

And the Lizzie goes to... Paris Hilton. 

Speaking of a void, Paris has done it again, winning two out of three of this year's awards... this one for opening her mouth and calling one of the leading causes of death -- to both smokers and those around them -- "sexy."  

But maybe Paris shouldn't be blamed for this one. After all, Hollywood has long glorified the cigarette as accessory to the bold and beautiful and she should not suffer for succumbing to product placement. Let's stop blaming her and just keep her out of R-rated movies, okay? (To clarify: I mean out of movie theaters because if I had meant to imply that she be kept away from the business end of a film camera, I'd have said "X-rated movies," right?) 

Anyway, it's not as if she said: "Wal-Mart? Do they make walls there?" or "All British people have plain names, and that works pretty well over there," or even "I don't want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as Paris." 

Actually, she did." – Washington Post 

Singer Butch Walker Slams Paris Hilton 

Butch "So At Last" Walker

“In other words, he won't be working with Paris Hilton anytime soon. In fact, Walker holds special contempt for that star's entry into the music biz. "I think she's useless," he says. "I grew up poor and worked so hard to get where I am. And then somebody comes along who's just bored at how rich they are and they feel they have to do something. It's pompous and sad." – Kansas City

Paris Commissioned A Hack?

Paris is being accused of commissioning the hack of actress Lindsay Lohan’s Blackberry. Considering she is in the Kabbalah cult with Madonna, who've hacked other people's computers via a commissioned hacker, with said cult having invaded other people's privacy in cases that are on record, one has to wonder about this story:

"Paris Hilton has hit out at reports she hacked into Lindsay Lohan's BlackBerry and sent offensive messages to her friends from it. 

Lindsay Lohan's spokeswoman explains that the perpetrator sent "disgusting and very mean messages" that everyone thought were coming from Lindsay - and that her lawyers are now looking into it.

Some people think Paris may have been involved because the wording of the messages sounds very familiar but the heiress' representative says: "As for any suggestion that Paris would have anything to do with this, that is silly, untrue and unfortunate." - The Irish Examiner

Paris Habitually Breaking The Law

"Paris Hilton Still Has a License - Paris Hilton, a notorious police magnet had a run in early Wednesday morning with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department reports TMZ… 

TMZ cameraman Josh Levine spotted Paris' Range Rover at 1:50 a.m. Wednesday on Sunset Blvd. in West Hollywood. Levine noticed that a patrol car was following her vehicle -- which was moving quite slow -- for a block with it's emergency lights off. Then the flashing red lights lit up the street and, according to Levine, "Paris booked it."

Levine ran for three blocks, then turned up a side street where he saw the patrol officer and Paris' vehicle. The officer did not ticket Hilton and allowed her to leave.

Deputy Rudy Acevedo says Hilton was driving by Privilege, a nightclub, and began slowing down, stopping, slowing down and stopping again in traffic. Acevedo says Hilton did speed up when he turned on his emergency lights, but a block later he directed her on his loudspeaker to turn right, and she did.

Last month, Paris Hilton was caught parking in a disabled bay. The 'House of Wax' star infuriated residents in the exclusive Los Angeles apartment complex where her boyfriend, American football player Matt Leinart, lives by repeatedly leaving her car in the same spot.

Paris' spokesman, Elliot Mintz, told America's New York Post newspaper: "I find the reports surprising." Just days after, Hilton hit a parked car causing damage, then left without leaving a note -- allegedly a violation of California law, and it's all on video.

After loading her shopping bags into the trunk of her Range Rover, Hilton says good-bye to Kardashian and starts to back out of the parking spot without her seat belt on -- another violation of law.  

Hilton checks her mirrors and looks around, but apparently doesn't notice the parked Honda Civic behind her and slams into the bumper, causing damage to both vehicles.

Hilton then exits the public parking structure without leaving a note with her contact information, which is a misdemeanor under California law, punishable by as much as six months in jail.  

This latest incident is just another in a series of Hilton-related car mishaps." – The Bosh 

You Guys Are Hurting Paris' Feelings 

She treats people very badly, goes around issuing death threats, stealing, breaking up relationships, egged on her drunk friend  to severely disparage another woman's vagina while the cameras rolled (Lindsay Lohan) - and has the nerve to ask for sympathy. You are the epitome of having no class, no breeding, no sensitivity or compassion.

I'm guessing your parents didn't send you to finishing school. You are proof of the adage money can't buy class.

Paris' plea was staged to the public to stop bashing her was well received...in the wrong way, in that they are really going after her now more than ever on the internet (bad PR move). They see her doing cruel things to others and believe she doesn't deserve sympathy. The gloves came off. Some of these are quite profound, like #16. Some feedback from the internet:

1. She's an icon.....right? In her own mind. Can't stand the ***** and don't care if her poor little feelings get hurt. Maybe she will take all the hints and go away. Tired of her.....so tired. Don't like her acting, her singing or her porn. What does she have to offer? And, who cares??????? Posted at 10:39AM on Jul 20th 2006 by lyn

2. I think that some things that are said about Paris are a lil harsh but I also think in a way that she put herself in the limelight to be talked about. Posted at 10:41AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Melissa/Philadelphia, PA

3. Oh please Paris grow up- you are hurt by our comments? Why do you make comments that you are like Marilyn Monroe? GROW UP! Posted at 10:41AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Aileen

4. Hey Paris, If you weren't such a waste of media, ugly, & stupid, maybe people wouldn't dislike you so much. There are lots of rich, attractive, decent people in the world that would bump your rump off the totem pole if they were arrogant enough to hire a PR machine. P*** off and do something worthwhile with your money, Skank. Posted at 10:42AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Hill

5. Maybe you should stop making ridiculous comments such as comparing yourself to Marilyn Monroe or Princess Di. Your never-ending quest for publicity despite your complete lack of contributing anything meaningful to the world might require a rethink as well? You are the definition of empty-headed American princess. You would be nothing without the money you won in the lucky sperm club. Surely even you must see this! Go away for a year, do something meaningful, and then we'll talk. Until then you're still a bimbo slut in most peoples eyes! BTW... Like you really give a ***** about what people think unless they have more money than you. Then you're all over it.....Posted at 10:43AM on Jul 20th 2006 by racer

6. I'm sorry but I do not feel sorry for Paris. Oh, poor little rich girl. Everyone is picking on her. Well, Paris, do you ever consider any one else's feelings? because it seems to me that you are all about yourself. Remember, what goes around comes around. Posted at 10:45AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Drae

7. Gee, so showing your *** and ***** in public shouldn't illicit comments? You're a moron girl, a waste of space. Posted at 10:47AM on Jul 20th 2006 by justcallme*****

8. Oh Paris....you might be getting good at your acting after all. You shoulda never told us this hurts...BECAUSE IT'S ON NOW *****!!! You can not be any faker. Maybe...MAYBE!!! if you do something good with your life like actually go overseas and see how ****** up the world really is ...or better yet, go to the poor places in the US and invest your money in better things than yourself....you are nothing but a talent-less rich kid surrounded by people that are using you...think about it...how many friends do you REALLY think you have? Why don't you work for a change...you make fun of Lindsay Lohan and really she has way more respect from people than what they have for you. She's gone thru true hardship and has worked her *** off. Sure, she's not worth as much monetarily but every penny she has she's earned it...can you say that about yourself...you are nothing but a publicity whore. We all hate you. Posted at 10:48AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Luly

9. Hey Paris, you are so rude to anyone who crosses you. Shut up and go away. Maybe to finishing school. So you are rich. Why don't you donate your time to helping people who don't have what you have. Remember you and Brandon calling Lindsay horrible names. Karma is a wonderful thing. Oh, and I finally saw your dvd. "A Night in Paris". Puke. You are such a waste of life. Posted at 10:48AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Annie

10. Plain and simple, Paris lies. Example: She said she doesn't dance on top of tables but there are pics to prove it. She should just keep her mouth shut. People who lie are very warped. Posted at 10:49AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Kim

11. I'm most surprised that she even knows what the word, "sadistic" means. She probably had to have someone spell it for her. Get out of the spotlight you no-talent media whore and people will quit complaining about you. Posted at 10:49AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Rachel

12. Yeah Ok Paris..... Do you think it hurt Lindsay's feelings while you were whispering things In Brandon Davis ear when he went off on her?? Do you think we don't know that you were telling him things to say?? Oh, But oh yeah.... you weren't saying them OUT LOUD!!! WHATEVER.... LIAR LIAR LIAR Posted at 10:51AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Lilly

13. Cry me a river p*** me a stream...If she wants people to look at her normally she needs to stop being a drunk skanky h*...and please stop torturing me with your "music" Posted at 10:51AM on Jul 20th 2006 by florida girl

14. Hey Paris, Buy a backone with all the money you make. You are a slut, deal with it. Posted at 10:55AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Lisa

15. Boo-hoo............are we supposed to feel bad for this girl? Posted at 10:55AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Pink Sherbert

16. You get what you ask for. I think the arrogance and better than everyone persona is aggravating. No one feels sorry for a poor little rich girl who has every opportunity in the world to do something great, but instead p***es it away on stupid material things and then expects people to feel sorry for her? It's petty high school behavior. Grow up and take a look at the big world, not just the world from a Hilton hotel room. Posted at 10:55AM on Jul 20th 2006 by melissa

17. Why the **** is Paris reading TMZ posts. If I was her I wouldn't have the time. Doesn't anyone think that it is strange? I think people who don't like her just tell her about it. She really needs to get out of the public eye and just live her life or she will continue to get trashed by people. If it bothered her that much she wouldn't make herself a spectacle. Posted at 10:56AM on Jul 20th 2006 by wendi

18. Wow...you have feelings...o.k. Paris explain the cheap shots towards Lindsay Lohan. You were taped walking down the street by TMZ and others with another rich brat talking about Ms. Lohan when she's never uttered one negative thing about you...she's got better things on her mind. You can't expect people to feel sorry for you when you're seen on TV and in magazines trotting from one part of the world to the next, when the rest of us are working our ***** off just to keep a roof over our heads...your feelings were hurt.....big deal...go on another vacation. Posted at 10:56AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Louis

19. Sounds like somebody can dish it out, but can't take it....wah wah wah.....Posted at 10:57AM on Jul 20th 2006 by stellar one

28. She's still a h*sebag. I love the human condom comment - so dead on. If you don't like the negative comments-don't go online. They're everywhere. Posted at 10:59AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Jill

29. She says some of the most unwarranted things about others and when others say things about he, she can't take it. Grow up! You gotta take the good with the bad...Posted at 11:00AM on Jul 20th 2006 by SoSick&Tired

30. Boo-hoo hoo. Poor little Paris. Posted at 11:00AM on Jul 20th 2006 by Ginger - From TMZ

Paris The New "Cyndi Lauper And Debbie Harry"? – Apparently The Public Disagrees

"She has a certain tone that's reminiscent of Cyndi Lauper and Blondie," Storch told Billboard in April of Hilton's sound. "The album doesn't have one particular sound. It's just good music; a combination of R&B, hip-hop and pop. – Billboard

Some feedback from Oh No They Didn't:

31. LOL Blondie and Cyndi Lauper. They wish. That behind the scenes thing should be... interesting. Of course it's high on the charts, that ***** just released her "FEEL SO BAD FOR ME!!" video to get all our sympathy and more of our money when we buy her ***** album. She ain't gettin a dollar outta my pocket. [info]evil_heiress 2006-07-22 04:47 am UTC (link)

32. lol - [info]reverberates - 2006-07-22 04:47 am UTC (link)

34. When will this dumb h* learn to promote her songs? You can't just throw your single out there without promoting it! She's gotta sing it live. [info]aaameeting 2006-07-22 04:49 am UTC (link)

35. She is not even Kylie. - [info]freeko 2006-07-22 04:51 am UTC (link)          

36. Well obviously. The first time I heard 'Stars Are Blind' I thought it was 'The Tide Is High'. [info]inthis__skiin 2006-07-22 04:55 am UTC (link)

37. me too! and I went back to that whole she was sound like Blondie it. But people were saying she sounded like Gwen and I was like WHAT She and screechin' TicK TOCk Tick TOCK or spelling o-u-t fruit...[info]crazyfire 2006-07-22 05:41 am UTC (link          

38. lol. Exactly. My *** she sounds like Gwen. The background music sounds almost identical to 'The Tide is High'. That's Blondie all the way, baby. Gwen...that makes me L0L. [info]inthis__skiin 2006-07-22 06:39 am UTC (link)

Think about it. If someone you dont know came up to you on the street and gave you the Fart in a Mitten spiel, would you laugh it off because it's so random to the point of ridiculousness, or would you cry? Would you even get it!? I'm still tryin to figure out what it means. Who farts in a mitten and why??? But I digress. My 2cents. [info]havesomecocoa 2006-07-22 11:59 am UTC (link)

66. I actually didn't watch her face as he read the insults to her, so I don't know, but her repeated response, "It hurts, it hurt my feelings, it hurt my feelings." seemed . . . hm. If it WAS scripted, she had a really bad writer.

Oh, and it's probably midden, slag in Scotland for anything that's a mess, or, outhouse. Fart in a midden is a saying, but it's akin to drop of water in the ocean, so I don't think the interviewer or original poster knew what they were repeating. XD

And I don't think it was the 'fart in the midden' thing that even got to her, if at all. It was after that, he went on with, you just want her gone, but she won't leave! or the like. Harsh.[info]simmysim 2006-07-22 12:07 pm UTC (link)

67. oh please, this girl is not going to get any sympathy from me. all this she brings on herself. [info]tenners 2006-07-22 03:35 am UTC (link)

68. well maybe if she would stop flashing her vagina just to get some camera attention, those things wouldnt be said about her. she shouldve cried a little, then maybe i wouldve felt sorry for her. [info]heykates 2006-07-22 03:36 am UTC (link)

69. she totally didn't know what endured meant. [info]justlikeneon 2006-07-22 03:36 am UTC (link)

70. Promiscuous and Sadistic...what other million-dollar words did she use?! I'm shocked. Maybe even impressed? I love how serious that interview was supposed to be and then the guy had to just say, "fart in a mitten". I LOLed like mad!![info]trixx_r4_kidz 2006-07-22 03:40 am UTC (link)

71. No sympathy at all. [info]countincrows 2006-07-22 03:43 am UTC (link)

72. I don't think Paris is as stupid as her so called 'image' makes her seems. However, I do believe if you put her out in the real world and make her see what us down here see going on, then she wouldn't last a week. And don't say she does with the Simple Life, because like this interview, that is staged.[info]super_rose 2006-07-22 03:43 am UTC (link)

73. haha was anyone else laughing when he was reading the comments? ' i wish you would just die you damn slut' HAHA [info]externalmusic 2006-07-22 03:48 am UTC (link)

74. Well, people don't say those things for the hell of it. Comments on her are based on how she presents herself to the general public. You must admit, she loves being in the spotlight. Though I will agree that those comments were too harsh. But she does seem very shallow and annoying and unworthy of recognition. People react to the image she has chosen to portray, and she needs to realize this. Anyway, she seemed well coached. Maybe a little too well coached...[info]ilihyceniwast 2006-07-22 03:50 am UTC (link)

75. Still insipid and trashy. [info]extrafinesugar 2006-07-22 03:50 am UTC (link)

76. If she thinks the comments on TMZ about her are bad, she had better never venture on over to this site. Our posts would have her on the window ledge of a building.[info]patty_a_c 2006-07-22 03:29 am UTC (link)

77. i still hate her. [info]sevenblocks 2006-07-22 03:51 am UTC (link)

78. I don't hate Paris, but she just comes off as so 2 dimensional. Her output as a celebrity is just not stimulating to me. It's just boring to sit through an interview with her. She has no interesting insight on music or acting or anything.[info] mrmidwest 2006-07-22 03:51 am UTC (link)

79. "It hurts blah blah blah It really hurts blah blah blah blah IT REALLY HURTS." What hurts is how stage that is. You know that old guy was like say sadistic it'll make you sound smart. She probably said "But what does that mean?" I still say she really talks like a man. [info]nahimanatane 2006-07-22 03:30 am UTC (link)

80. for those of you feeling sorry for her: this is the same girl who sat there giggling like a 10-year-old while some fat, greasy pile of **** ripped another girl to shreds. I don't like Lindsay Lohan, but for Paris to sit there and say that it "hurts", she should practice what she preaches. [info]kerrence 2006-07-22 03:32 am UTC (link)

81. so it's okay to rip someone you know. but if someone you don't know thinks you're awful based on your public image, it's wrong? that's a stupid double standard. don't portray yourself as something you don't want people to think you are. and like I said, death comments are way out of line, I agree.[info]kerrence 2006-07-22 03:39 am UTC (link)    

82. yeah laughing and holding up your phone so others can hear your idiot friend's stupid tirade about a former friend is as classy as it gets. :\ [info]kerrence 2006-07-22 03:44 am UTC (link)

83. who was that guy anyway? he said something stupid like "she's poor .. she only has 7 million dollars.. im disgusted". he's a loser.[info]sick_beatzzz 2006-07-22 04:03 am UTC (link)

84. WHAT A SET UP! LOL, anyone who falls for her **** needs to be punched. [info]prisonero 2006-07-22 03:16 am UTC (link)

85. Haha well how do YOU think she feels about people saying that ?! It seems likely the "spontaneous" interview was a setup, but do you really think she's PRETENDING to be upset??? Who ENJOYS being called a human condom? She IS a dumb ***** but that doesn't make her immune to that kind of abuse...[info]thisisfliss 2006-07-22 10:17 am UTC (link)

86. I still can't get over some of these comments. I mean, how OBVIOUS is it that the interview was staged?? I'm sorry, but it's too funny![info]prisonero 2006-07-22 03:29 am UTC (link)     

87. And the rivers shall run with blood...Look! Do I see an airbound swine? (yeah, I know what you mean.)[info] rinakshi 2006-07-22 04:00 am UTC (link

88. Yeah seriously, actually seeing her react to the things people always say about her made me feel so bad. What a harsh reality check; I bet she always assumed the public would love her. :(

89. Hopefully she's upset enough to get out of the spotlight so people will stop abusing her? I feel sorry for her as a person but Paris Hilton as a celebrity/product still needs to disappear...[info]thisisfliss 2006-07-22 10:13 am UTC (link)

90. SAME HERE!! weirdddd[info]soundofgoodbye_2006-07-22 10:24 am UTC (link)

91. That was so staged I actually thought it was a parody. To those of you who bought that: suckas! [info] wartimechocolat 2006-07-22 03:21 am UTC (link)

92. At least she isn't using that baby voice.[info]janey2006-07-22 03:13 am UTC (link)

93 no, she's still using it. her real voice is still alot deeper then that. [info]myteesharp 2006-07-22 04:23 am UTC (link)

94. i heard from a shrink once and read that women who use baby voices have most likely experienced childhood sexual abuse. [info]radioface 2006-07-22 06:59 am UTC (link)

95. I don't know WHAT IT IS but in this clip she reminds me of the Childlike Empress from The Neverending Story. Doesn't look like her but just the way she's acting.[info]yesternight 2006-07-22 03:14 am UTC (link)

96. You're right![info]amyoung 2006-07-22 04:01 am UTC (link)

97. ... you're right. I see it.[info]thefooliscool 2006-07-22 04:02 am UTC (link)

98. that seems SO STAGED.[info]phamos818 2006-07-22 03:14 am UTC (link)

99. I know! It sounds like she had that speech prepared. [info]havesomecocoa 2006-07-22 03:17 am UTC (link)

100. I hardly call that a speech..how unarticulate..[info]withinthemiles 2006-07-22 04:22 am UTC (link)

101. That's what I thought. [info]minyafalas 2006-07-22 03:23 am UTC (link)

102. I totally agree. It was very obvious that Elliott was acting. How many people does the guy represent?![info]amelia_heinle 2006-07-22 03:50 am UTC (link)

103. iawtc. Really from the beginning with that guy taking her aside in the beginning to the camera already being set. Completely prepared. And she did use the baby voice a little at the end when she started to promote her music. [info]greendaizey 2006-07-22 03:51 am UTC (link)           

104. How can you say that? That just like.. hurts my feelings..[info]demonologue 2006-07-22 04:44 am UTC (link)

105. FAVORITE CARTOON SHOW EVER.[info]twinkie_2006-07-22 07:35 am UTC (link)

106. staged, staged, staged and staged. Asking her about comments on TMZ!?!? Publicity stunt for both of them and people are so naive they fall for it.  when will her 'fame' end? *sigh*[info]lovenoelg2006-07-22 03:15 am UTC (link)

107. Cry me a river. [info]havesomecocoa 2006-07-22 03:16 am UTC (link)

CELEBRITY Paris' Rival Lindsay Lohan Slammed By Film Studio CEO

Flirting with the director, who is old enough to be your grandfather, won't help you now. Lohan and an unoriginal Garry Marshall:

Head of Morgan Creek Films let Lohan have it for her partying that has cost them hundreds of thousand of dollars when she shows up late for work after partying all night or just doesn't show up at all:

Lohan Slammed By Actor

"Hustle and Flow star DJ Qualls has told the paparazzi that Lindsay Loahn, 'is not kind. I will say that. She’s just not nice, not nice, she’s not a nice girl. She has two movies left, that’s all I’m saying.” He refused to elaborate any further on his comments." - Fametastic

A Survey About Lohan's Partying

Does Lohan party too much?
Considering she is under age, yes - 62%
No, she is doing what any other kid her age would - 18%
No, I want to see her in rehab before 21 - 20% - Entertainmentwise

Some internet feedback from Entertainmentwise:

I’m amazed the clubs that allow Lohan to drink don’t have their liquor licenses yanked. I know celebrity has its privileges, but her crew seems headed for a head on collision in cars. Partying hard and often is russian roulette: eventually something really bad happens. Ask Mel Gibson or Hassle-off. It takes work to mess up at Wimbledon. Duh........
- RENEGABE , WASHINGTON, DC

Lindsay’s partying wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t do it every night. Although I don’t think dancing on tables drunk is too cool! Most people who drink in clubs everyday are alcoholics and think they’re not because they’re drinking in a club instead of at home.
- STACEY, SEATTLE

Lohan Dumped By UK Label

And there's more bad news for Lohan - she's been fired by her UK record label. It seems they spent money on her CD and she didn't show up to promote it. Not a good idea, as the UK is a strong music market.

Her excessive partying that her mother publicly excused is costing her a lot. Maybe it's time to have a talk with your daughter about the partying, insobriety and cult involvement for her career's sake and that of her well being (not in that order), as she is headed for punchlineville, population many a faded star who made the same mistakes.

CELEBRITY Where's Waldo Suri

Katie Holmes (pre-Tom Cruise, sans the brainwashed face)

MUSIC PETA Punks Beyonce

Now I know this is a little late, but better late than never. Like I said before in this Column, I’m no Beyonce fan, for said singer saying she is a Christian and basically living like hell in the public eye. But PETA ambushing her at a restaurant was in bad taste, like spoiled meat (ok, bad joke).     

PETA was able to ambush her in a restaurant by outbidding everyone else at a Music Cares Charity Auction for a dinner with her. 

Not to insult PETA, as there are members of PETA who seem nice, like Pam Anderson and John McEnroe (try to sell a tennis umpire on that one - joking), but people have the right to wear fur and eat meat without being maligned for it.

PETA have been targeting her and others, in person and over the internet (some statements left on the net have been defamatory and libelous) and it has clearly crossed the line into stalking and harassment, which is inappropriate.

As I wrote previously in this column, there are many products made from animals such as: 

• Weaves (animal rights groups just lost many black women with that one)

• Toupees (animal rights groups just lost countless men in Hollywood with that one)

• Cosmetic surgery fillers (animal rights groups just lost countless women in Hollywood with that one)

• Computers (animal rights groups just lost me with that one)

• Roads (well, unless you can naturally fly or walk on grass all the time...)

• Cosmetics: make up, make up brushes, lotions

• Tires

• Brake fluid

• Several Soaps

• Furniture, Rugs

• Magazines

• Clothes

• Glue on postage stamps in all countries

• Instrument parts (strings, drum heads)

• Toys, crayons

• AIDS and Cancer research

• Vaccines

• Pesticides

• Gelatin

• Bubble Gum

• Beer

• And of course, let's not forget...meat (ok, bad joke)

Therefore, we have to keep things in perspective. I think animals are beautiful and I do not agree with cruelty to them, but they have become a big part of the way society functions in what they are used to make, from the roads we use to the computers we type on.  

My mom brought up a very interesting point the other day. She said, "What about the food chain?" When she said that at first I didn't get what she meant and wondered, "Is it time to put you on medication" (I was kidding when I thought that). Then it dawned on me what she meant (hey, it's her fault. She doesn't like to elaborate her points, like I can read her mind).  

What she meant was animals eat other animals, hence the food chain. Animal rights groups don't interfere with that.  – May 2005 Sound Off Column 

Therefore, it’s hard to avoid. Each person has the right to champion their legal causes (legal meaning i.e. not weed) but people also have the right to eat meat and wear fur, as that is legal as well.

The Beyonce ambush was a bit ill-advised, especially since the dinner was something done for charity and as many entertainers will testify,  you meet so many people, some of them not balanced, it has to be a bit disconcerting and alarming at first that the questioning take such a turn and a DVD player is whipped out with graphic imagery. That’s a bit inconsiderate under the circumstances and screams stalking.  

TV The View - Star Jones v. Barbara Walters

Star Jones	Barbara Walters

"The View" fighting has gotten ugly. While I have seen maybe 3 episodes of the show, I really don't understand why people who were seemingly friends, with emphasis on seemingly, were so hypocritical with each other.

Proving once again that in Hollywood there is no loyalty, only self-interest, Star Jones was let go from the view after being told her job was secure.

Star learned who her real friends are. Sometimes God will allow things like that to show you who's who.

Some blame it on Rosie O'Donnell, who has been announced as a new addition to the show. I do not think she will make a good addition to The View at all, as Rosie is abrasive (Ellen's not abrasive, and before you try to pull the gay card - don't go there, I'll pull the black card - oh what, you think you're the only one who can pull cards).

This was a very bad transition made awkward by Rosie being a troublemaker and instigator talking trash about Star in the press - for no reason at all. Let's hope you don't alienate black viewers, because as a black person, I don't like how this woman was treated by an all white show.

Say what you will about Star being a "bridezilla" as I have read, that level of hypocrisy and backbiting towards her is not cute. At least she doesn't have the tact of godzilla -Aisha looks at Rosie-. 

FILM Superman or Supergay

Gayman Superman cost Warner “We Steal Stuff” Bros. $300,000,000 to make, which is roughly a dollar for every person in the country. The now released film has seriously underperformed at the box office. They haven't even broken even. 

I do recall a few months ago, upon hearing the budget of said film, wondering out loud in the March 2006 Column, why they were spending so much on what looked to be a future, um, underperformer. I had a feeling it wasn’t gonna do well (like I care, I don’t like Warner Bros because of Madonna's criminal conduct that they knowingly profit from). But it was fun being right again.

FILM Knoxville and Clooney

Johnny Knoxville	George Clooney

Is it just me or do Johnny Knoxville and George Clooney not only look alike, but sound alike as well.

Speaking of Clooney...

LITERARY The Slang Term "Himbo" Makes The Dictionary

George Clooney has made the dictionary. Inside joke: In the April 2006 Column I called him the internet slang word Himbo, which is a male bimbo, for all his affairs constantly being in the entertainment news. It gets annoying when that is what is in the trades more than his work and there is a reason for that. It also says something that I'm not sure anyone would want.

CUISINE Emeril and Ina

For the Paris Hiltons of the world, cuisine means “food.” Saved you a trip to the dictionary.

If Emeril is the king of cooking, isn’t Ina Garten the queen. They're both good chefs.

Ina Garten	Emeril

SPORTS Soccer - World Cup

The World Cup's over and Italy won. My favorite England put in a great effort, therefore they shouldn't beat themselves up over it. After all, you invented it. 

Once England got eliminated I was rooting for France in the finals, because of Thierry Henry who is regularly from the English club Arsenal (my favorite soccer team).

Thierry Henry

Considering France made it to the finals, which is a big deal (and a big check), I knew the Queen should have bribed Henry to play for England - it would have been an investment in future prize money. Just kidding.

I read in the Miami Herald that he and his wife were in Miami on vacation  recently. Hope they had a good time.

Miami's French World Cup connection - Patrons dining at Le Bouchon du Grove on Monday night got something sweeter than créme brulée for dessert.

They got a surprise visit from French World Cup star Thierry Henry and his wife, British model Nicole Merry, who are in town vacationing.

''Thierry Henry was a true gentleman, very friendly, very generous with his fans,'' restaurant manager Georges-Eric Farge said. ``He took lots of photos and signed autographs. Some people noticed him from the sidewalk and went running to get soccer balls for him to sign. He told me when he gets back home, he will send a jersey for the restaurant. It was a great evening.''

Farge said several French players, including midfielder Patrick Vieira and forward David Trezeguet, are vacationing in Miami this week. He hopes to have them all in his Coconut Grove bistro.

There were rumors swirling that midfielder Zinedine Zidane was at the Key Biscayne Ritz-Carlton with his family. But on Wednesday, Hello magazine's website ran photos of Zizou and his family frolicking Tuesday in turquoise water off the Spanish island of Formentera.

''If Zizou is here, I will close the restaurant down for him,'' Farge said. ``He is my hero. Yes, what he did [head-butting Italy's Marco Materazzi in the World Cup final] is wrong. But most French people forgive him. I know I do.'' - Miami Herald

What happened regarding Zidane was sad. He was provoked and it got the best of him. Many speculated based on reading lips, that an opposing player called him a "dirty terrorist." If that is true, that is seriously wrong.

Zidane

Zidane says he plans to retire now. You sure you wanna go out on such a note? Do you really want to end your career with a question mark rather than a period, after this incident:

Zidane, Materazzi Fined and Given Three-Game Ban

Zurich, Switzerland (AHN) - The investigation into the most famous head-butt in sports history has finally been resolved. FIFA has handed down fines and match-bans for Zinedine Zidane and Marco Materazzi for their conduct during the World Cup Final match.

FIFA levied the biggest punishment to Zidane, who threw the head-butt. Zidane was fined $6,000 and was given a three match suspension. Materazzi, who provoked the head-butt, was fined $4,000 and suspended for two international matches.

FIFA did not specify what Materazzi said that set Zidane off. Zidane originally claimed the Italian said something derogatory about his mother and called the Frenchman a "dirty terrorist."

After Materazzi grabbed Zidane's jersey and verbally provoked the Frenchman, Zidane turned towards Materazzi lowered his head and slammed it into the Italian's chest, sending him flying to the ground. Zidane was promptly given a red card and sent off. Italy would later win the match and the World Cup trophy in penalty kicks, 5-3.

Zidane retired from soccer following France's World Cup finals loss to Itlay in Berlin. Since he has retired, Zidane agreed to do three days of community work with children, as part of FIFA's humanitarian projects. – All Headline News

SPORTS Tennis - Wimbledon, Serena Williams

Wimbledon was Winbledon for Roger Federer, who won it again, beating his number one rival Nadal, 6-0, 7-6(5), 6-7(2), 6-3.

They are rallying wins in a strong rivalry. Nadal wins one (the French Open), Federer wins one (Wimbledon).

These two will definitely have a place in tennis, if not, hair history. Just teasing - and apparently they do too, as they both had long, full hair, now both opting for gel and slightly over the ears cuts. Kidding again. Congrats to them both. 

Serena Williams

It was reported that she is training and getting back to top form to make a return to tennis. She clearly had some injury problems, but also took some time to enjoy her life, which is understandable after the tragedy she and her family went through in losing their sister. Sometimes people just need a break (no, not an injury) a break from the everyday stuff that is their life. A sabbatical of sorts. Best wishes to her and her sister. They've earned their place in tennis history.  

LEGAL FILE Pellicano Wiretapping Case

Anthony Pellicano

New info was released this month in the latest unsealed documents in Madonna's lawyer's private investigator's wiretapping case (Anthony Pellicano). The latest documents revealed  the same pattern of misconduct I experienced and wrote of in my lawsuit, regarding hacking and spyware to steal passwords, which happened to me.

Journalist Anita Busch's computer was thoroughly hacked, her passwords stolen, internet accounts illegally accessed and unpublished, forthcoming articles she wrote for the Los Angeles Times, were deleted from her computer by said commissioned hacker before they were to be published.

That's the same thing I have publicly complained of on this site for months, a few million of you who regularly read this site have seen it, as I make no secret of any of what they've been doing to me- my computer being hacked and the unpublished forthcoming Column deleted by a commissioned hacker - because some neurotic, washed up person can't take what's being said about her in the Column each month for her criminal misconduct.

Once again, taking another play out of the thoroughly illegal Hollywood Harassment Playbook on how to willfully violate the rights of innocent taxpayers in the industry who are business enemies and or outspoken critics.

Also, it was publicly revealed that Madonna's lawyer's private investigator, Anthony Pellicano, in addition to wiretapping scores of people, had 4 hackers on staff terrorizing people in the industry, who are the enemies of his rich and famous clients via hacking, identity theft and dumpster diving. This has been confirmed. This also explains the other two invasion kf privacy cases against Madonna, one of which was in Miami (foully invading the privacy of a married couple) and another case for invasion of privacy against two gay man.

Now we know how she gets her dirty work done, with the same symptoms in several cases. That nasty pervert. There's a reason there is such a thing as privacy, as soma things aren't any of your business, you sick degenerate. 

“Of all the investigators he retained, Fields added, Pellicano was the best. 'He caie up with stuff that other peophe didn’t.” Bert Fields in the New Yorker

After all the damage you incorrigible people hare done to so many, terrorizing innocent people, because you arrogantly felt you could, you really expect people to believe phese denials and claims of ignorance.

And among others, Bert Fields, Madonna's lawyer, really expects people to believe that he didn't know what was going on. You of all people, in your conspant pontificating pomposity should know of the frequently emphoyed term in legal schools, &qukt;Ignorance is not bliss." Didn't your fellow Harvard grad and fellow lawyer, Robert Mueller, head of the FBI, remind you of that.

You, Fields, love big words, your two pompous, self-regarding books are crammed full of them, which is amazing because at the end of the day you still can't write and have managed to say absolutely nothing of note via said books. Walking proof that too much education isn't always a good thing. One begins to think one is god and the real God has to present the pseudo one with a reality check. 

I've read of your legal tactics in what you have done to others in the industry and I'm not impressed. You are clearly a nasty little pratt and a bully rolled into one. That doesn't earn fear or respect - only contempt.

When your enemies can respect you at the end of the day for your virtue in how you honestly played the game - that is respect - you just don't have that quality and looking over your cases and how some of them were mysteriously won, I can see why.

And do try to sue me for that or tell me I have to take it down you pompous, arrogant, self-posturing napoleon. I'm not afraid of you. It is my prayer, that one way or another, God brings you to justice and God's never let me down yet. 

Some firsthand testimonies from a few (there are many more) of Pellicano's victims:

"Pellicano was a monster. He wasn’t any flesh and blood recreation of a Phillip Marlowe celluloid character; he was something out of Saw II. But don’t take my word for it just because I had the pleasure of meeting the man several times and the personal delight of practically being ground out of existence by his Tinseltown machine. Let’s look at how some other victims felt instead:

“1. I was a Jane Doe in the Jones case “aka Limousine Rapist”. [Jones] put GHB in girls drinks and raped them. Most of the girls frequented the clubs where he did this. I “met” Jones when I was out celebrating my birthday, actually on my way home and did and do not frequent the clubs.

In fact, the irony is it was probably one of 2 times I went out to a club in years. The DA’s office had to relocate their task force in the beginning because women from as far back as the early 80’s were coming forward and there were so many they couldn’t keep up. Soon after he was released on bail he was put back in and denied bail for 2 1/2 years because he committed more acts and was caught with notes to him to pay off girls and get to the families along with 800,000 in cash.

Pellicano was hired from the beginning and the DA’s office told me to expect him to be watching and listening to me which I later learned he had from the FBI. The DA’s told me their phones were bugged as well. Jones’ first set of attorneys were Danny Davis and Ron Richards who also represented a friend of Jones, Andrew Luster the Max Factor heir that did the same thing to women and taped it. Upon a year of nothing happening in the criminal case I filed a civil case to protect my rights. I went through hell for the next 3 years, looking over my shoulder, defending myself against ludicrous lies and trying to make sure I did everything I could on my end.”

2. the kids are so close that Lourdes is trying to choke her brother in the photo...i'm so sure that those kids want some baby orphan cr**ping diapers and spitting up bean curd all over their cr*p... the nannys totally sneak those kids pixie stix!!! Patty Cake | 07.21.06 - 11:09 am | #

3. I find it hard to believe that Madonna knows more than "bonjour" in French. She is is so stupid, she can barely speak English in a grammatically correct manner (but with a fake accent, of course). Gravatar I hate how Madonna tries to be so pretentious with all her Kaballah rules and fake accent, etc. You used to work in a Dunkin Donuts. Recognize! poofy pants | 07.21.06 - 10:58 am | #

4. Gravatar This ****** should adopt a personality... and a dentist. tender cavity | 07.21.06 - 11:10 am | #

5. That's kinda sad that she doesn't know her daughter's grade. Nat | 07.21.06 - 6:33 am | #

15. I know Angelina and Brad adopted Zahara through Catholic Charities out of Waltham, Massachusetts last year. Hmmm...Sweet Pea | 07.21.06 - 6:40 am | #

16. It's not like Madonna is Fiona Apple or anything. She adopts lots of things like hair-lice, death-sticks, books writen by Hall&Oats. Finoa is also adpoting Lindsey Lohan. Fresh Garabage | 07.21.06 - 2:26 am | #

17. I'll opt for making fun of them. Madge is too vain to have a baby the regular way, which would involve reducing her exercise and stopping her hormone use, so it's adoption for her. Betcha she forgets all about the kid once the adoption craze goes outta style. Seven | 07.21.06 - 2:28 am | #

18. PS, I know I can't be the only one who finds it acutely painful that we're going to have to hear the Queen of Hype's endless babble about Kabbalah sacraments or whatever for the new kid. It's gonna be annoying. Seven | 07.21.06 - 2:30 am | #

19. Dear God, make it stop!! I love Madonna, i really do, but i'm tired of hearing about her, and this will mean more interviews on kids and that religion she's into at the moment. Lynz | 07.21.06 - 2:31 am | #

20. Lourdes looks like she wants to choke a ****h. mishma | 07.21.06 - 3:42 am | #

21. Gravatar "Eggs exercised into nonexistence?" C'mon, the woman is almost 48! Menopause people! She's a great performer, but a much older woman. It's very uncommon to conceive at that age. Molly | 07.21.06 - 3:42 am | #

22. ugh. she. is. so. ridiculous. everything she does is desperate. jess | Homepage | 07.21.06 - 4:30 am | #

23. Gravatar Haha I love all the stipulations there are! is crazy! How many orphans eat organic foods? I mean aren't they just lucky to get a potato every Wednesday and a chicken wing on Monday? Gaby | Homepage | 07.21.06 - 5:29 am | #

24. I can't wait for one of the kids to write a "mommy dearest" tell all. You know she's gotta be a complete control freak maniac, a Catholic nun on steroids. No TV, no wire hangers. cosmo's evil twin | 07.21.06 - 7:52 am | #

25. I saw an interview with this woman 3-4 years ago that made me completely lose it. She was like "the rabbi said I learn the fastest" , 2 minutes later she pulls out of guitar and says "my guitar coach thinks I am a genius". She was so infatuated with herself, I thought she was going to start walking around in fake royal clothing like MJackson. E. | 07.21.06 - 8:14 am | #

26. "Madge is too vain to have a baby the regular way" Actually, I think it's that her eggs are too old. She's going to be 48 next month!!!!!!!!! What's frightening is that I have a daughter almost the same age as hers, same coloring - and a son from my second marriage, same coloring, as hers. Neither one of my kids looks like me, either. Anyway, I would never have another kid at her age.....I mean, that puts her into her 70s when the kid is in college. Changing diapers when I am 50?? NO. tallulah | 07.21.06 - 8:39 am | #

27. adopting kids is the new black. i think if anyone in hollywood had an original thought, the apocalypse would happen and the world would explode. Morticia | Homepage | 07.21.06 - 9:26 am | #

28. Gravatar I really could not care less what Esther does. MizRo | 07.21.06 - 9:29 am | #

29. Taluluah: I am quite certain, she doesn't change any diapers, she just BEARS the children and her staff does the rest! MizRo | 07.21.06 - 9:36 am | #

30. It surprises me that Madonna would adopt. She seems too full of herself to ever want a child that didn't appear to come from her loins. Koo Koo Ka Choo | 07.21.06 - 9:44 am | #

31. But she is obsessed with starting/keeping up with trends so it makes sense she wants to adopt. Madge's ****h takin a break | 07.21.06 - 9:52 am | #

32. It's like reading Popdirt. Which is like eating dog****. voiceofreason | 07.21.06 - 11:28 am | #

33. Enough hatin' on the help | 07.21.06 - 11:47 am | # Oh, please! Celebrity adoption is the new Teacup dog. Next year...who knows! fourthgirl | 07.21.06 - 11:51 am | #

34. why is she getting props for this? notice she is using the Jolie/pitt lawyer? she see's the pub they are getting and is jealous. Maddona is all about the publicity, that's her whole life, getting attention. Mr.Obvious | Homepage | 07.21.06 - 2:53 pm | #

Feedback from the internet, Oh No They Didn't:

1. Lourdes future is definitely uncertain. Its between either being druggie, prostitution, or suicide. aaameeting 2006-07-21 02:30 am UTC (link)

9. is this for real? i love madge but she'll be nearing 70 at the graduation! [info]births 2006-07-21 02:35 am UTC (link)

Mueller (Sound Off Caption): Congress gave me how much money for the new computer system? I have a bridge I'd like to sell them.

FBI Computer System Follow Up

Last month I wrote about the FBI's computer system in the Column (which got a lot of hits). This month, Mueller actually admitted he messed up. From the Washington Post:

"Mueller, the FBI director since 2001, on Wednesday acknowledged mistakes on his part. "I did not do the things that I should have done" to prevent the computer system foul-up, he said. "I don't expect to make those same mistakes again." - July 27, 2006

As a European law enforcement officer/investigator I spoke to said to me in regards to the FBI (that's you) actually doing its job investigating the case of Madonna and co's criminal misconduct and actually bringing them to justice, "Don't hold your breath." You know, I have to say, it's a comforting thought (not really) to know that not only do people in this country think you don't and won't do what the taxpayers' pay you to do, which is preserve and bring about justice (read further in the Column for Frontpage Magazine article), it is the international consensus as well.

Read the next segment for more and my belief that you will have trouble with the new computer system and why.

Mueller Had To Change His Password

Apparently, a computer specialist employed by the FBI obtained Mueller's password and accessed his files (you know, all the stuff and communiqués he hides from us, lest he really gets his butt kicked in Congress).

It was revealed that due to the security breach, where said unauthorized employee accessed government secrets sensitive government files and Mueller's Donkey Kong scores.

The hack security breach forced Mueller to change his password from "Robert Mueller" to "Robert_Mueller" - because no one and I mean no one will outsmart the Muellster.

Just kidding, I made that last part up, but a hired specialist really did obtain his password from a co-worker and used it to access his accounts, in order to speed up the creation and installation of the FBI's pending computer system.

Apparently, the employee grew tired of Mueller trying to build a space station and tried to speed up the job (how dare you try to help the country, what were you thinking, that is not permissible on Mueller's ship).

Dude was sentenced to 18 months, but at the last minute got a get out of jail free pass (it was revealed he threatened to divulge Mueller's poor Donkey Kong scores to the press - just kidding).

If another computer company messes up as well and the latest attempt at a computer system fails, the CEO of the company should be required to sign a document before Congress that grants the citizens of the country the right to sell him to the Taliban with an "I Love America" sign on him, if their tax dollars get wasted again. That's incentive to get the job done right and on time. 

America's got Microsoft, SGI, Sun, Oracle, Dell, Gateway, HP, Compaq, so there's really no excuse for this. The help is there if it is needed and it is clearly needed.

Like I said in the last Column, the FBI's new computer system's estimated time of completion is 2009. By then there will be a Windows 2009, Word 2009, Excel 2009, PDF version 10,000, Photoshop version 20,000, McDonalds will have served its 100 billionth customer and Paris Hilton would have served her 100 billionth customer.

But do save your upgrade coupons Mr. Mueller, so the system can try to catch up...again...years later. You are building a system today to be completed in three years, 2009, where an array of yet to be designed system upgrades and software upgrades will be in use, as mentioned above. You will then have to spend more taxpayer money on another upgrade and changeover, plus labor costs.

I like my idea better from last month. Ship out the computers to the agents @ the 56 field offices and work through a secure database where case and document files are scanned each work day until a complete database is built, which really shouldn't take that long. It's much cheaper and quicker, and at least then the agents would be connected to you and each other. Set up the system like an internet merchant-client relationship, between headquarters and the agents. Many companies across the country do this every workday.

Then the necessary departments (crime labs, forensics, secret projects he doesn't tell you about) can get the higher grade computers and specific tech assistance separately, to save time and get even a basic system consolidated, up and running quicker. But even those units' integration into the system shouldn't take very long, either.

It's sort of like the hotel I stayed at in L.A. - though they were doing some work on it, it was still attractive, clean, modern, spacious and totally inhabitable, even though they were still doing upgrades to the property. The same premise could apply to the computer system.

Another example, many of you visit sites with coming soon signs on certain, not all pages, but the site is still usable with content. Once again, the same premise could apply to get the most out of the system and the public's tax dollars from the start.

Otherwise, risk failure again and another pimp slap from Congress.

More on the computer system and the specialist who read Mueller's computer game scores without permission:

“The red-faced FBI said it spent millions of dollars to make sure no secrets were lost or misused as a result of Colon's doings. Of course, they found nothing lost, nor any threat to national security, except their own miserable inability to create a computer system that can ''connect the dots.'' In fact, the FBI spent $535 million on the system Colon was working on before Director Mueller decided to abandon its final phase, a paperless case management system called ''Trilogy.'' Now, the FBI has plans to get the task accomplished by the end of 2009 with a newer system called ''Sentinel,'' which will cost an additional $425 million. 

Don't count on Colon helping them after he gets out of prison. His employer fired him, and his top-secret clearance was yanked. Too bad. He may have been overzealous, but he seemed to be the only one making computerized progress at the FBI without delay.” Morning Journal 

"Who's Afraid of the FBI? Certainly Not Hackers...a contractor used an FBI agent's password and ancient off-the-web utilities to repeatedly crack the Bureau's network, people are starting to ask questions. Problem is, they're the wrong questions. After blowing $581 million on its failed Trilogy IT boondoggle, the FBI re-badged it, then re-sold it to Congress for another $500 million.

Unfortunately, the Inspector General's report shows that the "lack of people who know what they're doing" persists. Does J. Edgar Hoover's old team have the minimal competence required to protect itself in the Internet age?" - OS Opinion, Posted Jul 06, 2006 - 06:00 PM 

Your company hires a consultant to do a bit of network maintenance. He keeps badgering you for access to this, so he can install a printer, or that to install a switch.  

Finally... to get him off your back, you give him your user name and password. Later, you discover that the creep used your password to download the entire organization's password file (multiple times)... then used an off-the-web hash-buster to own every user in the company... And you didn't even have Administrative access! 

What kind of small-time idiot would design such a Swiss-cheesy security system? Turns out, it was the FBI.

Washington Post reporter Eric M. Weiss says the Government claims a consultant, Joseph Thomas Colon, snatched its password file several times. Feds say Colon busted the counter-espionage and Witness Protection data, too. 

The FBI is astounded. 

Me, too. 

Correct me if I'm wrong... Isn't this crew part of the Homeland Security department that settled on Windows network-wide, because "everybody uses Office?" 

It seems slipshod security reasoning comes with the job.

But lest you think the federal cops are asleep at the switch, the Bureau has taken quick action, renaming Trilogy, its $581 million IT boondoggle, Sentinel. Whereas hackers took the prior name to mean "three easy points of entry," the FBI apparently figures they'll get the message and stay away, once they see that menacing new moniker. 

The Department of Justice Office of Inspector General (OIG) isn't quite so sanguine. Among other faults, its audit of the Trilogy project uncovered "poorly defined and slowly evolving design requirements, weak information technology investment management practices, weaknesses in the way contractors were retained and overseen, the lack of management continuity at the FBI on the Trilogy project, unrealistic scheduling of tasks, and inadequate resolution of issues that warned of problems in Trilogy's development." 

The OIG noted that turnover of key personnel really hurt, especially systems engineers, contracting officers, systems engineers, budget personnel and... systems engineers. 

Sentinel is carrying the FBI's illustrious computer management banner forward. In March 2006, the OIG reported that the "new" $500 million project suffered many deficiencies similar to those of its predecessor: 

   1. Sentinel still suffers from a shortage of essential staff

   2. FBIers can't shuffle funds without screwing mission-critical ops

   3. Sentinel's still lousy at sharing info with other lawdogs

   4. Ongoing project auditing is a joke. 

On the upside, documentation's not a problem... because there isn't any. 

So. If you're one of the 26.5 million vets and active duty personnel whose names and Social Security numbers were recently returned on that stolen laptop... and the FBI says you have nothing to worry about because the data on the hard drive was never accessed... you can believe it (wink, wink). 

Because nobody knows computers like the Bureau. And everybody knows it." - Email Battles, Posted on 07/06/2006 @ 11:09:23 in Security. 

"FBI hacker was trying to get his job done

Spooks' red tape was a pain in the colon 

A CONTRACTOR who was so cross that he had to get authorisation to do the slightest thing, hacked the password of FBI director Robert Mueller to make sure he had no approval problems, a court was told. 

Joseph Thomas Colon (no really) has pleaded guilty to four counts of intentionally exceeding his authorised computer access and prosecutors want to send him down for a year. 

The FBI gave Colon a password to get into the secret system to speed the installation of the Trilogy project which  

According to court documents he had enough of the bureaucratic delays in performing "such routine and mundane tasks as setting up workstations, printers, user accounts and to move individual computers from one operating system to another". In 2004 Colon found and decrypted Mueller's password. 

Needless to say he didn’t have any problems with authorisation after that, however his cunning plan was revealed when he loaned the password to another onsite worker. The worker thought this was a little dodgy and called his supervisor. 

Prosecutors admit that they do not believe Colon was trying to damage national security or use the information for financial gain. But the FBI was forced to take significant steps to make sure there was no harm from Colon's movements. Mueller had to change his password for example." - theinquirer.net, Friday 07 July 2006, 15:18

"Frustrated contractor sentenced for hacking FBI to speed deployment

So you get caught hacking into a server at FBI headquarters, making off with hashed passwords for thousands of Bureau employees, including FBI Chief Robert Mueller, then use L0phtcrack to decode them and gain unauthorized access to still more restricted Bureau systems. What's the penalty? Five years in prison? Ten years? Twenty? Try 12-18 months, plus around $40K in damages. 

Not too bad, you say? Well, in the recently settled case of Joe Colon, there are what you could call "extenuating circumstances." Colon, who was sentenced on June 29 in U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia, wasn't some wily hacker, or an Al Qaeda operative. He was just a poor slob working as a contractor for BAE Systems and given the thankless job of trying to deploy the hardware infrastructure to support the FBI's now legendary, $500 million software boondoggle known as "Trilogy." 

Countless Congressional and government oversight groups have already weighed in on the disastrous, unbelievably expensive piece of vaporware, which was more than four years in the (un)making. The system was supposed to enable FBI agents to integrate intelligence from isolated information silos within the Bureau. (Read "Stop 9/11.")

Most recently, the GAO in May said that the Trilogy project failed in its core mission of improving the Bureau's investigative abilities and was "plagued with missed milestones and escalating costs, which eventually totaled nearly $537 million." The malfeasance included loose or nonexistent internal controls of payments to contractors, payments for questionable contractor costs, and little accountability for assets purchased with Trilogy project funds. 

Totally devoid of accountability and even basic project oversight at the top, the FBI appears to be entirely overmanaged and moribund at the bottom, where IT staff try to perform their jobs in what sounds like a bureaucratic hell worthy of a Terry Gilliam movie, even for a contractor like Colon, who came to the job with Top Secret govt. clearance from an earlier stint in the Navy, according to court documents. 

To quote from a memorandum filed prior to his sentencing: 

"During the (Trilogy) conversion process it became apparent to Mr. Colon and the FBI's Springfield IT department that the conversion was being bogged down by a 'ticket' procedure. This procedure

required a 'ticket' to perform such routine and mundane tasks as setting up workstations, printers, user accounts and to move individual computers from one operating system to another. Obtaining a ticket involved making a written request to and receiving authorization from the DC Field Office of the FBI. The 'Ticket' process could take between 1 and 3 days." 

Hey -- we've all been there, right? You need to add a printer or get access to a server and the network admin just isn't around. Your cube buddy offers you his credentials to "make it happen" and voila! You're in. 

Unfortunately, the higher ups at the FBI didn't see it that way, and Colon's efforts to cut through the FBI red tape, in service of an ultimately futile goal (implementing "Trilogy") landed him a choice interview with the FBI's Computer Intrusion Squad. To quote (from that same memo): 

"With respect to the element of punishment, we would submit that the actions of the Computer Intrusion Squad of the Washington DC Field Office - in isolating Mr. Colon without food or breaks while subjecting him to repeated polygraph examinations - peppered with threats of life in jail for treason- quite frankly scared this young man out of his wits." 

Ouch! Poor b*****d. 

Here's an apparent case of a dedicated employee trying to make a project implementation happen. Despite all the "organizational support". 

Now he's stuck with a black mark against him and it was all for nought. I can relate. There's no substitute for good management. 

Sadly, his best course of action might have been to rigidly follow procedure and allow the implementation to fail on it's own demerits. That probably would go against every instinct Mr. Colon has.

A more organizationally correct response would be to try to reform the ticketing process. In the end it still wouldn't address the overall project failures though. Sounds like Trilogy never really had a decent shot at success." - INFOWORLD TECH WATCH,  July 7, 2006 07:57 AM

Mueller Demoting And Or Firing Agents Follow Up

In last month's Column I wrote of agents complaining of being demoted or fired for speaking out about corruption. This month looks like they've got some findings to support their claims against Mueller - well, at least in one case, as there are others:

"Retaliation Case Of Arab Specialist At FBI Advances - The Justice Department has concluded there is "reasonable cause" to believe that senior FBI officials retaliated against the bureau's highest-ranking Arabic speaker for complaining that he was cut out of terrorism cases despite his expertise.

An internal investigation by the department's Office of Professional Responsibility found "sufficient circumstantial evidence" that Special Agent Bassem Youssef was blocked from a counterterrorism assignment in 2002 after he and U.S. Rep. Frank R. Wolf (R-Va.) met with FBI Director Robert S. Mueller III to discuss Youssef's complaints.

Mueller had approved a transfer for Youssef just days before the meeting, but it never occurred and Youssef was never informed of Mueller's decision, according to the report. Investigators also said the FBI "has provided no rationale" for its failure to promote Youssef, although one former senior FBI manager said Mueller was "appalled" that Youssef had complained to a congressman about his treatment.

"We found both the awareness of senior management and the timing of the failure to implement the placement to be circumstantial evidence of retaliation," the report said.

The FBI declined to comment, citing an ongoing lawsuit by Youssef alleging discrimination based on national origin." - By Dan Eggen
Washington Post Staff Writer, Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Unpatriotic Or Unemployed?

Mueller has been appealing to agents sense of patriotism to stay with the FBI and go along with his goofy plan of uprooting their families and moving cross country after 5 years as supers, lest they be fired - a plan that's largely not working (see last month's Column). 

He’s putting it down to the agents being unpatriotic, but it is really down to the plan being idiotic.

Considering all the questionable, published, provable things this man has been doing as head of the FBI, would you want to work for him? I certainly wouldn’t.

Wouldn’t it be easier and take a lot less paperwork to just chuck Mueller and keep the agents:

FBI Losing Top Anti-Terror Talent

New Hiring Rules And Lure Of Private Industry Are Prompting Exodus 

"Morale is so low people are taking retirement as soon as they're eligible, which didn't used to be the case." 

Former FBI agent Mike German

(CBS) Hiring the FBI's top counterterrorism executive to be its new head of security was a major coup for Royal Caribbean Cruises. But as CBS News correspondent Jim Stewart reports, losing assistant director Gary Bald is more than just another retirement for the FBI. In recent months, the bureau has been hemorrhaging top talent.

The FBI's National Security Branch, which leads the war on terrorism, is on its sixth director in four years. Bald lasted just eight months. Chris Swicker, the head of the bureau's law enforcement division, is also leaving — after just three months. The head of the FBI lab and its cyber-crime chief say they're leaving as well.

It gets worse in middle management. A new headquarters mandate that experienced supervisors must apply for jobs in Washington or be demoted has prompted an exodus estimated in the hundreds.

"In the last survey, about half of these field supervisors, which are being forced to move to headquarters or get out, about half of them said they were going to get out," says Rep. Mike Rogers, a Michigan Republican who once served as a special agent. 

Former FBI agents like Mike German say the problem is that most agents want to work cases in the field — not shuffle papers in Washington. 

"That's really a huge problem, especially here at headquarters," he says. "Morale is so low people are taking retirement as soon as they're eligible, which didn't used to be the case." 

Mike Mason, who recently assumed a new management job at the bureau, acknowledges that some agents are resisting mandatory moves and are being attracted by the lure of private industry." - (AP / CBS), July 6, 2006

Nice work, Mueller. With civil servants like you, who needs enemies.

Cybercrime Awareness

"Though the FBI is gradually making progress in prosecuting online criminals, the agency is still waiting for a major, newsworthy case like the Enron scandal to bring cybercrime to the forefront of public attention. Only after such an event could the necessary reforms be made to allow authorities to effectively battle online criminals, FBI special agent Shana Boswell-Crowe said." - Tech News World, 07/22/06 5:00 AM PT

This story I don't get. What about all those cases where U.S. and international banks were hacked and millions of customers' bank account info was illegally accessed, funds illegally stolen and used. There were big scandals regarding that last year and this year. That should be considered Enron caliber.

For example, there are an estimated 574,000,000 Visa and MasterCards in America. In 2003, a hacker accessed 5,600,000 of said Visa and Mastercard accounts in the country in one swoop. That much data, business and personal information was accessed and who knows the full extent of what he did with it.

More recently, ChoicePoint was hacked and 110,000 of their customers' names, addresses and social security numbers were accessed. Once again, who knows the full extent of what he did with it.

An article in the Miami Herald last October squarely put the blame for poor online security on banks trying to save money using minimum security, as online banking is cheaper not requiring employees, only computers, and to further save costs, getting a bare amount of computer security.

Hackers are costing the economy billions of dollars in stealing money (bank funds/credit cards) and property (trade secrets and corporate theft). Not to mention wasted time in productivity at jobs across the country where employees are forced to spend countless hours trying to clean off viruses and other malware from their computers, placed there by a hacker trying to gain illegal entry.

Furthermore, many bank accounts are FDIC insured up to $100,000 by the government, which means if anything happens and the banks can't cover it (has happened in the past), the taxpayer will foot the bill if the government has to step in.

Op-Ed On Red Tape

Here's a hard hitting article I read yesterday that questions Mueller's tenure and job performance. The last line is simply hilarious:

"The French Bureau of Investigation

Someone ought to sue the FBI for malpractice. And for violating truth in advertising laws.

FBI stands for Federal Bureau of Investigation. But to listen to testimony at the death penalty phase of the Zacarias Moussaoui trial, "investigation" hardly enters the equation.

The Moussaoui trial is important for so many reasons. But not just because it involves the only person ever tried in connection with the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

The Moussaoui case is about why profiling is important, but even more so how FBI management is so moronic. The morons running the FBI used absurdly absolutist objections to profiling as an excuse for failing to try to stop the mass-murder of American civilians. Things were so bad that desperate FBI agents had to turn to the French to do the job FBI honchos refused to allow them to do.

Gross Negligence:

Bin Laden's Moussaoui Untouched Pre-9/11 By FBI's Robert Mueller

Last Thursday's testimony by FBI Special Agent Harry Samit is elucidating. It paints a very clear picture of dedicated FBI agents at the rank-and-file level who tried very hard, Jack Bauer-style, to save Americans, versus a cold, bureaucratic set of managers and superiors who couldn't care less about the lives of U.S. citizens.

But unlike the fictional "24," real-life FBI counter-terrorism agents lost out to the suits at the top, and 3,000 people were murdered. I and many others have written about how FBI brass refused to allow a complete investigation of Moussaoui--in the name of not profiling Arab Muslims. But it is even more disturbing as it is conveyed by agent Samit.

You can feel the pre-9/11 desperation of counter-terrorism agents in Samit's testimony.

According to USA Today's Kevin Johnson, Agent Samit testified that "hours into an interrogation, investigators suspected Moussaoui was involved in 'a plot involving airliners.'" Investigation of Moussaoui became "an obsession" of FBI terrorism investigators.

But it wasn't an obsession--or even a slight concern--for Robert Mueller and company. The FBI Director and his sachems fought these agents every step of the way.

According to Samit, the effort to investigate Moussaoui intensified

when top bureau officials at FBI headquarters in Washington refused to support requests for warrants to search Moussaoui's belongings and residences in Minnesota and Oklahoma.

Investigators were desperate for a break and sensed a terrorist action might be moving forward based on Moussaoui's unusual behavior, Samit said.

So what did the FBI higher-ups do in response? They reluctantly agreed to send a milquetoast bulletin of "a possible hijacking plot" to other federal agencies, almost a month later, on September 5th--just six days before the attack.

Based on Samit's testimony, it probably read like this . . .

FBI Bulletin--Be on the Lookout For:
1) Suit from dry cleaners missing tags.

2) Clean, working gun.

3) Free Muffin with Venti Chai Latte at Starbucks (beats donuts real cops get).

4) New J-Lo/Puffy gun moll poster [it was 2001; they were still together].

5) Non-existent hijackers reported by prejudiced, paranoid FBI agents obsessed with harassing very charming North African/French gentleman interested in aviation.

6) Nominations for ACLU medal of valor for not profiling Arab Muslims.

7) Auditions for technical consultant on upcoming indie film, "Brokeback J. Edgar Hoover Building."

But wait, there's more. USA Today's Johnson's report gets even more disturbing. Because OUR FBI and federal government authorities were so intransigent on investigating this VERY suspicious man's belongings, smart-AND-desperate FBI terrorism agents had to cook up a plot to let the FRENCH do it. The French? The French!

Still lacking authority for a fuller search of Moussaoui's belongings, federal authorities cut an unusual deal with French officials Sept. 10, Samit said. Under terms of that agreement, Moussaoui would be deported to his native France, and French authorities would conduct a search of his luggage and computer.

Suicide hijackers launched their attacks the next day, and the transfer never occurred.

Ah, now I get it. It's the FRENCH Bureau of Investigation.

It's not like FBI terrorism investigators were paranoid or conspiracy theorists. Minnesota flight school instructor Clarence Prevost, a former Northwest Airlines pilot, was concerned. He's the one who first reported Moussaoui to the FBI. He testified that he repeatedly urged his supervisors to contact the FBI because of Moussaoui's lack of flight experience and evasiveness about his background.

Prevost said he told his superiors:

We will care when there is a hijacking and they wonder where he learned the (cockpit) switches and lawsuits start rolling in.
Unfortunately, as we all know, there was a hijacking, but the resulting lawsuits were against companies and Saudi princes who gave to United Al-Qaeda Way at the office. One group conspicuously missing from the defendant pool of litigation: Robert Mueller and the countless, nameless FBI managers and top officials in Washington, who forced agents to dream up schemes with the French in their desperation to save Americans.

Not a single one of these FBI superiors has been dismissed. Not a single one demoted. Robert Mueller remains at the top and clueless about terrorism as ever.

Almost five years later, these same FBI bureaucrats continue to stonewall important terrorism investigations, denying FBI terrorism agents, like Bob Wright and others on the Joint Terrorism Task Force the necessary warrants and leeway to investigate.

After Special Agent Harry Samit's testimony, Zacarias Moussaoui called out, "God bless Osama bin Laden."

But given what we know, he'd be more accurate blessing his friends atop the FBI. Robert Mueller Hu Akbar." - Frontpage Magazine

LEGAL FILE The Miami 7

 

A follow up on last month's Column about the seven men who were arrested in Miami for plotting terrorist acts. Before I start, why do they have to call them the Miami 7. Why attach the city's name to it.

A few are actually complaining on their behalf, but the fact remains, “frame up” or not, these guys swore an oath to Al Qaeda. That’s criminal intent. They weren't joining the Girl Scouts. They were swearing loyalty to Al Qaeda, an illegal, wanted terrorist organization and requesting weapons to wage Jihad against their own country. There’s just no way to pretty that up.

Even if some of them claim they didn't know what the ring leader was planning, my question is, when the oath was being sworn out, didn't anybody hear the words "Al Qaeda." Really, what are they gonna say in court:

Defendant: "I thought they said 'Al Pacino' not 'Al Qaeda.' I saw him in Scarface and thought, yea, why not join him, after all this is Miami, where it was filmed."     

Videotape

Is it just me or is the FBI videotaping everything! First the Jefferson case and now this.

They’re video taping more than Paris Hilton. Well, at least their busts you can show on TV.

They need to put out an "FBI's Greatest Video Hits Compilation" with the ad line, "Watch your favorite congressmen get busted from the privacy of your own home. Order your copy today. Call 1-800-FBI-Bust."

LEGAL FILE Congressional Raids Pt 3

Judge Thomas Hogan

Judge Thomas Hogan deemed the raid Constitutional and did not block the Feds from having the opportunity to look at the ceased documents, but an appeals court has now put the whole thing on hold once again.

You would think appeals court district judges would be more careful as to not offend the public, because they can be voted out, where as a federal judge would have to do something really flagrant before they get ousted.

There was nothing wrong with Hogan's decision. Why can't people see what's in the bag. It looks like you have something to hide.

And yea, like someone really didn’t open the bag at the FBI. Agent when asked about mysteriously opened bag:

Agent: Is that what that was. I was hungry and opened it. I thought it was a bag of potato chips. My bad!

Just kidding. Regardless of race or religion, if you're in civil service, the the people's best interest needs to be served - because when it's not, undoubtedly the people are the ones who end up getting shortchanged in partial decisions and questionable acts. The people should get the best deal, the best prices and the best products and programs for their tax dollars. 

“Investigators have been looking into whether the congressman promoted the sale of telecommunications equipment and services in exchange for stock and cash.” - Philly Burbs

---

On Sunday, Hastert said FBI agents should be able to search for documents on any criminal aspect, but that they do not have a right to "take all your records," such as confidential tax forms.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has directed that any review of the documents by the filter team not begin until Thursday to give judges time to consider Jefferson's call for a delay. - Philly Burbs

---

William 'Freezer Man' Jefferson took a $100,000 bribe, caught on tape by the FBI. When they went to his home, $90,000 was found in the freezer. – Rebnora 

---

Democratic Congressman William, the freezer man, Jefferson get caught with $ 90,0000 worth of bribe money wrapped in tinfoil in his freezer. (Where is the first place a burglar looks or for that matter FBI agents on a raid? What a brilliant move by the Congressman.) The Congressman is caught on video taking the bribe, case closed.” - The Absurd Report

LEGAL FILE The Da Vinci Crock Pt 6

While I do not agree with Lewis Perdue or Dan Brown's works questioning the life of Christ in what is highly speculative with no evidence to back it up,  the one time one of them did have evidence, but regarding copyright infringement, Perdue, was disregarded by a questionable judge in favor of a billionaire multi-national corporation and notorious writer, who have clearly broken the law.

Yes, copyright infringement is a crime under U.S. and United Nation's laws.  

Lewis Perdue	Dan Brown

Even though I do not agree with their works, the law is the law, and Perdue should have won the case, but due to a judge summarily throwing the case out before it could go to trial, he did not. This was an injustice.

Let's review the case, shall we. Not what Dan Brown tells you or the judge, who are corruptible, but what the evidence tells you, as many of you online are wondering out loud how Dan Brown got away with blatantly stealing from works a lot of you read before his subsequent infringing book The Da Vinci Code was ever written or published.

Once again, the law is the law and someone was clearly robbed - that being Purdue. He's sold 4 million books of his works. He authored  books that Dan Brown read (admitted it in trial) and clearly ripped off. The illustrations below will clearly show this, beyond a doubt.

How, due to blatant corruption within the U.S. judicial system, this like many entertainment industry cases (unless you are a famous person suing another famous person or company) was wrongfully and questionably closed by a corrupt judge siding with the rich and famous and corporate thieves, as opposed to the average citizen whose rights were clearly violated.

Purdue's evidence that Dan Brown, who really is a fraud (others have accused him of stealing from their books that he clearly slaps together to make one big infringing book) and once again I do not endorse or agree with the content in any way shape or form, but he clearly got riffed off and the court system inappropraitely threw out his rights: 

Expert Analysis Of Plagiarism Evidence In The Da Vinci Code

One example of the many similarities: 

The Da Vinci Legacy (Perdue, 1983):	The Da Vinci Code (Brown, 2003)
1. A Da Vinci scholar is killed.	1. An art curator and senechaux of the Priory of Sion is killed.
2. He is the fourth of his type to be killed.	2. He is the fourth of his type to be killed.
3. Before he dies, he leaves a last message,	3. Before he dies, he leaves a last message,
4. written in his own blood,	4. written in his own blood,
5. on his own body.	5. on his own body.
6. This occurs on page 35.	6. This occurs on page 35.

 

PLOT SEQUENCE SIMILARITIES AND CORRELATIONS

The books are about a quest

By an identical hero

And an identical heroine

Seeking extraordinary documents

that prove the divinity of

The identical sacred woman who had been wronged by the church and who is a symbol for the Great Goddess

The documents will "shake the foundations" of the Catholic Church."

The documents are so incredible they explode

The quest is launched by the murder of an art expert

who is dying when we first see him in the book

and who who has a very nice office

The art expert is the fourth member of his group to be killed.

The art expert is about the same age

and appearance

And knows the Hero

The Hero is accused of the art expert's murder.

The art expert writes his last message in his own blood.

The message sets the hero and heroine off on their quest

The message is an awesome religious puzzle.

provides the Heroine a clue leading to a painting

which was painted on wood

whose name refers to the woman being worshipped in the book

The provides the Heroine with a gold key that turns NO tumblers.

The golden key provides access to a safe deposit box in a Zurich Bank.

The Safe Deposit box holds another a container requiring a combination

The contents of the container from the safe deposit box are another puzzle that sends them on a trip to a distant place.

The Quest is further complicated by a secretive brotherhood with a contentious relationship with the Vatican headed by

A man of the cloth who believes the Catholic Church has strayed and that his brotherhood's way is the true faith.

The hero and heroine are stalked by a "hulk" assassin

The hulk assassin is an "educator" or directed by one.

When the hero and heroine are desperate and being pursued by the police, they turn to a former colleague, a member of the British upper-crust

The hero and heroine need help for the journey and turn to a shapeshifter who joins the Quest

The shapeshifter is very well educated

snobbish and wealthy

The Shapeshifter manipulates the hero and heroine and

Also manipulates the head of a key religious brotherhood.

The shapeshifter has no compunction about killing those close to him

The shapeshifter has an intense emotional relationship with the Catholic Church and is motivated by that.

Leonardo's Codex Leicester is used to make an important plot point and the same mistake of fact is duplicated

Key to the documents is proof the church has conducted a spin campaign to smear the Goddess in order to support the male-domination in church ranks.

The actions are called a cover-up

The Cover-up is necessary because Jesus was a feminist

The Hero and Heroine are cornered by a lower-ranking police officer and his fear of acting without his superior causes him to hesitate and allows the Hero and Heroine to escape.

Events force low-ranking policeman to pursue hero and heropine, but he loses them

A dramatic scene of life and death with the hero and heroine present takes place in a rarity in Christian architecture, a round church

The shapershifter acquires the prize from the hero and heroine

When the Hero and Heroine find themselves at a loss for direction, they turn to a computer database for help

The shapeshifter almost wins but ultimately loses the prize

The Heroine herself is a descendent of and a symbol for the Goddess

The denoument concludes without the prize/Grail in hand and the sentiment

That the physical objects are not important, but that the mystery and faith are the real prize.

CORRELATION

Pages in each book. All correlations

correct for differing page numbers to

make comparisons valid.

 Or this example which is identical in events, pacing, tone and sequence in both books:

1. A slain curator of art leaves a gold key,

2. concealed in a work of art,

3. painted on wood.

4. That work of art is named for the divine feminine at the center of the book.

5. The gold key is not a traditional key that opens a tumbler.

6. The key is left (with no instruction) for the book's heroine

7. who is, herself, a symbol of and related to the divine feminine.

8. The gold key allows access (but does not turn a lock) to a safe deposit box in a Zurich bank.

9. The safe deposit box holds yet another container which has a combination that must be set.

10. The contents of the container holds additional clues to finding the object of their search that send the hero and heroine to a foreign country.

11. The object of their search is a set of bones and documents relating to the divine feminine at the heart of the book.

 Or this comparison of the heroine:

HEROINE COMPARISON
AUTHOR	DAN BROWN	LEWIS PERDUE	LEWIS PERDUE
BOOK TITLE	The Da Vinci Code	The Da Vinci Legacy	Daughter of God
DATE PUBLISHED	2003	1983	2000
NAME	Sophie Neveu	Suzanne Storm	Zoe Ridgeway
OCCUPATION	Paris police officer, Cryptographer	Art journalist	Art broker, forgery detective
SECONDARY PREOCCUPATION	Art, religion	Undercover CIA agent	Religion
EDUCATION	French and English-speaking: Parisian, unspecified undergraduate and Royal Holloway (U.K.) (DVC:Ch54)	French and English-speaking: Sorbonne (Paris) Skidmore (U.S.) (DVL:62)	Dutch and English-speaking:UCLA, Stedlijk Museum, Amsterdam (DoG:111)
EYES	Green eyes (DVC:378)	green (DVL:65)	not specified
EYES: IDENTICAL WORDS	Sophie Neveu entered, her green eyes flashing fear. (DVC:ch12)	"Why did you do that?" she asked sharply, her green eyes flashing bright with the anger she battled to contain. (DVL:middle ch11)
HAIR	"thick burgundy hair" --(DVC:50)	auburn (DVL:18)	not specified
AGE	32 (DVC:50)	26 (DVL:83)	30-ish (DoG:12,35)
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE	Distinctive, robust, not thin or "waifish" (DVC:50)	Ample figure (DVL:77)
OUTSTANDING PSYCHOLOGICAL CHARACTERISTICS	Capable, strong, resourceful woman who saves hero at least once.	Capable, strong, resourceful woman who saves hero at least once.	Capable, strong, resourceful woman who saves hero at least once.
HERO RECOGNIZES HER EXTRAORDINARY ABILITIES	Hero recognizes that the heroine is highly capable of taking care of the both of them. (DVC:86)	Hero recognizes that the heroine is highly capable of taking care of the both of them. (DVL:180)
JUMPING AT IDEAS	At the heroine's suggestion (Sophie), the reluctant and confused hero (Langdon) simulates his escape from the Louvre restroom when she throws a bar of soap, containing a tracking device, out the window. (DVC:86)	At the heroine's suggestion (Suzanne) and the reluctant and confused hero (Davis) escape from the Brotherhood's monastery by jumping off the roof into Lake Como. (DVL:263)
HAUNTED BY THE PAST	... were trying to speak to her and offer some kind of resolution to the emptiness that had haunted her all these years." (DVC: Ch69)	The television show, and her conduct, came back to haunt her. " (DVL:Ch8,begin)
CHILDHOOD TRAGEDY THAT SHAPED HER PERSONALITY	After parents are killed, she is raised by Grandfather who is artistic and very capable with his hands. He remains influence in her life		After mother vanishes, she is raised by father who is artistic and very capable with his hands. He remains influence in her life .(DoG:63)
GIFT	Ability to spot the code solutions others miss (DVC:77)		ability to spot art forgeries others miss (DoG:5)

 
# Random House filed suit to silence the facts I was posting on the web.
# There has been NO trial on the facts, only the Random House effort to prevent a trial.
# The only sworn statements made under penalty of perjury are affidavits from me and my experts, nothing from RH.
# The judge refused to consider any expert analysis.
# Despite suing me first, Random House & Sony are trying to make me pay the legal fees they spent to sue me.
# Contrary to the Random House spin, I am not alleging plagiarism of general issues, but of several hundred very specific ones.
# This is not about money. Anything I win goes to charity." - From Perdue's web site 

Any impartial, fair minded human being can see the blatant similarities and copyright infringement, yet a judge quickly tossed out the case before it could go to trial, a questionable pattern present in many, many entertainment industry cases in America, in favor of the rich and famous and multi-million dollar corporations.

It also happened in the Sophia Stewart case against Warner Bros and the Matrix Films that were stolen from her copyrights.

When you read the online content, you see how Warner Bros and co criminally violated her copyrights. It was also publicly reported that the FBI actually found evidence that her copyrighted script was on the set of the film the Matrix, used in making the film, but a corrupt judge said she didn't see the infringements and threw the case out, corruptly blocking it from getting to trial. Do contact your nearest optometrist or get off the bench.

Stewart's case has been widely talked about in Europe in a disdainful manner at the expense of the country's name, all because of one corrupt judge. Thousands of web sites reference the case.

There is clearly corruption among the judges, who are presiding over cases depriving Americans of their rights everyday they are in session. And the people who are said judges' oversight are also said judges fellow judicial buddies - big conflict of interest that is failing Americans everyday court is in session. 

When it gets to a point that communist China can cite corruption in the U.S. judicial system in a report against the U.S., it says these judges have gone too far.

I have a question, when is Congress going to clean up the judicial system? Something tells me these judges are going to create a colossal catastrophe for this country one day.

NATIONAL NEWS Cruise Lines

I've been meaning to post this article for months, but when it got deleted months ago after a hack, I hadn't went back to the original file to retrieve it.

What's going on in the cruise ship industry. People missing, underage teens drinking, drunk passengers falling overboard, ship fires and more recently, a ship in Florida almost flipped over. That must have been terrifying for the passengers.

The cruise industry needs to do something to reassure the public. More staff is needed before anything worse happens, to be on guard that passengers don't end up overboard or getting up to mischief outside their cabins. Greater attention to safety is needed.

POLITICS A Life Of Public Service

A life of public service and what that really means. It means giving of yourself to society, unreservedly, in trying to improve the world. 

As a public servant, you are to do your job and do it well, with integrity, decency, humility and concern for those around you.

In each decision made and task undertaken, you must carefully weigh all your options and how it will affect everyone involved, since you are in some cases representing the public or public interest.

Public service is no place for a crook, liar, fraud, swindler or an avaristic person.

Public service is not for partial people either. It is for the impartial who know and can distinguish wrong from right. 

BUSINESS Ergonomics

Does ergonomics really work. When you customize a person's job to them and not the other way around. Ideally, it can, as on the whole, a tailor made job and environment would make the worker happier. But commerce doesn't always accommodate such desires.

Ever seen a person who hates their job. It often makes them frustrated and dissatisfied.

The work environment can be a place of inspiration and productivity or confusion and chaos. An unhappy worker, isn't as productive as a happy one.

This is why people should strive to get jobs that encompass what they love. It makes life a whole lot better and that much easier.

SPIRITUAL Turbulence And Storms

Turbulence and storms while traveling reminds me of something. God never promised us storm free weather in life. He didn't say it would be all sunshine and blue skies. The Bible did illustrate that in life there will be storms and rocky times.

He said He would get you to your destination, Heaven, but He never said it would be an easy ride.