The Soccer Edition           

 

April 15, 2003

Male Soccer Players

- Have you noticed that in general, male Spanish soccer players are…pretty, they're masculine, but they are very good looking. No, that's not why I watch the sport, I do actually know and enjoy the game and that was not an insult to Latin people as my grandma was half Spanish. It’s just that during the World Cup, I noticed how pretty the Spanish players were. I think it’s the long curly/wavy hair –cough- Argentina. I saw one player on TV and thought, that one’s even prettier than me. Someone prettier! yes, hard to believe, I know. I’m kidding, so don’t go around saying I’m conceited! -says Aisha looking in the mirror admiring herself…winks at herself in the mirror -.  

-One thing with sports though, there are quite a few good looking athletes out there, but unlike with music and films, being cute won't get you far (I'm not referring to Argentina because they are talented, I mean this in general). Being cute does not win matches. Sometimes people will comment on how good looking an athlete is, almost more than their athletic ability, but if you see an athlete do well in their sport, no matter how good looking they are, they did well because of their talent, not their looks. Being cute will not score a goal, a basket or an ace. However, it doesn't hurt with endorsements, but that's something else. 

With music, you can be good looking with very little talent and do well because of your looks. Another thing, with music your record can land in the top 10, top 20 or top 40 and people will say you have a hit. It could go to number 2 and it would still be okay, you don't need to have the number 1 for it to be a hit. Sports is more definitive in that you either win or lose the game.    

My dad says some athletes abilities are a gift (I asked him once why some soccer players play better than others). While some of it is learned, a lot of it is God given. Some people's natural athletic ability are greater than others and sometimes genetics play a part in it, which leads back to God as well, as He created each person. 

A joke for you that I read that is somewhat related to that: A soccer player's wife said she didn't realize her two year old son had athletic ability until one day she saw him kicking a tin of baked beans around the house (somebody buy the kid a ball - I'm kidding). He's imitating his dad who is the captain of the English team. I thought that was hilarious. At age two, he's already trying to play soccer and trying to follow in his dad's footsteps. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.


April 25, 2003

Beckham Leaving Man U

What's this stuff I've been reading about David Beckham leaving Man U for Real Madrid. He's the captain of the English team, how would that go over in England...not to mention he is the most known athlete there. Besides, if he moved to Madrid, what would the press in England do (that was a joke). I read a lot of British publications, have for years, and there is always a story about him and his family.

I also read that revenues were down at Arsenal. Beckham should play for Arsenal, then he'd still be in England, but they (Arsenal) probably wouldn't want to fork over that much cash. Beckham did make a lot of money for Man U in merchandising, so they would make the signing fee back in revenues (considering those teams like revenues). 

 


May 15, 2003

Athletes Over Dramatizing Fouls

Aisha's Observations:

1. Why do soccer and basketball players over dramatize fouls. Some of the toughest, most masculine male athletes will fall to the ground like girls and lay there like they've been mortally wounded - when the injury is really the equivalent of a paper cut. Then when the ref finally acknowledges it and gives them the foul (free throw or free kick), they will pop right up and start running and smiling like nothing happened (suspicious). That was a rhetorical question, I know they are trying to clearly point out the foul to the ref by playing dead on the ground. Still, some people really do get injured. 

2. Why do some athletes complain about fouls that they know are flagrant. A hint: If you elbow, sucker punch, karate kick or body slam someone on the opposing team, uh, that's a foul. Still some athletes know when it's a bad foul. I saw a match this week where the soccer player knew it was a bad foul. 

Note to that soccer player: you're a talented guy, but that form of tackling, also known in karate circles as a scissor kick, is not allowed in soccer. It's not cute when soccer players go flying through the air...is it a bird? is it a plane? no, it's #7. I'm just kidding. 

He knew it was a foul, though and didn't even bother to protest the ref's call. He apologized to the player who was, er, semiconscious on the ground trying to figure out what just happened. He even patted the ref of the back when he gave him the yellow card (warning/foul).  

3. It's a bad sign when your manager/coach starts chewing their gum faster. That really means: just wait until we get in the locker room where I can privately and sufficiently tell you what I really think of that bad play you made via an expletive ridden reenactment. 

4. Isn't the ref the most harassed person in the game. The crowd and teams can be annoyed with calls you make. Who's rooting for the ref.

 


May 28, 2003

Soccer: Juventus v. AC Milan

I also watched the soccer match between Juventus v. AC Milan, which stretched on for 120 minutes with no goal. A draw is okay, but when the score is nil I view it differently. Penalty kicks were used to determine the UEFA cup winner (AC Milan won - once again, Shevchenko got the winning goal/penalty kick 3-2).

Why didn't they just do the penalty kicks from the beginning instead of playing the whole match with no goals (non-penalty) - the match would have been over much quicker. That was a joke, I'm kidding.


June 2, 2003

Funniest Soccer Match

A few weeks ago I watched the funniest soccer match I've ever seen. It was the match between Villa and Celta, which was funny due in part to the ref. 

He blew the whistle so much, I thought he was whistling a song.  

He handed out 2 red cards and 5 yellow cards; it was like he was playing cards.

There was a yellow card for a foul, for inappropriately disputing a foul, for coughing, for breaking wind. I'm just kidding. The funniest one was when he issued a yellow card to a member of the staff on the sidelines for saying something to him (Miguel Lotina Angel). Celta ended up playing with 9 players and eventually lost the match. 

Some of the players did deserve it as they were approaching him a little too aggressively in disputing calls. Players should not violate the ref's personal space or touch him when they are angry in an attempt to get his attention or intimidate him. Discipline is good, however, they most likely will not play effectively when they are walking on eggshells for fear of getting carded.

There were a few mishaps as well. I always thought it looked inappropriate when the men cover their manhood with their hands during the free kick, but for the first time I understood why. During a free kick, a ball missed the goal, but it sure caught a player where it should not have sending him to the ground in what was apparently excruciating pain. When he got up, he started walking funny and had to leave the pitch (field). 

Another player was hit by the ball, right in the forehead. He fell to the ground as well (do you notice a trend here). They had to pour water on him to help wake him up. He just kept shaking his head and walked off the pitch doing a hail Mary.  

Beckham Being Traded To Spain

There's talk again in the British press of Beckham being sold to Spain. I know and understand that players are traded all the time, however, he is one of those players associated with his country in a very patriotic way, therefore trading him is not a good idea. Why is there even talk of trading him now. What will Man U consider selling next? Stonehenge? 

It would be just like Miami trading... oh wait, that's right, Miami doesn't have a soccer team anymore (bitter).


June 6, 2003

Soccer

Playing soccer with streamers all over the pitch? You can't tell what's going on as well as when the pitch is clear of them can you. 


June 10, 2003

Tanning

Tourist over tanning...local residents have a normal tan because, well, they live here and it's gradual, while tourists who haven't seen the sun in months (-raspberry-) overdo it and tan until they're red or completely sun burnt.

Speaking of tanning, a joke for you: The wife of England soccer captain David Beckham, said recently: "I love his new hairstyle (braids), but David has already burnt his head in the sun. David has been here all week. Look at him, he is so black."

Uh, she said "he is so black"...you just figured that out, he listens to what is considered black music, dresses like a rapper and braided up his hair the other day. I'm kidding, he's not black, but when I read that, for the reasons mentioned, I started laughing. No disrespect intended with that joke.


June 17, 2003

- I've written captions about musicians before - well, I saw some funny pics of athletes and did a few captions for them as well:

Athletes lying down on the job

Martin...The horizontal backhand:

You've heard of Air Jordan...meet Air Andy:

Gustavo "Picasso" Kuerten exploring his artistic side by drawing a heart in the clay after winning his match:

...Then lying in the heart he drew in the clay (hey, he won, the man deserves a nap). It takes a brave, non-dry-cleaning-bill-fearing man to lay down on a clay court - I commend you:

I'm noticing a pattern here (no, not the heart pattern Gustavo drew) more examples: 

Thierry Henry's new sport which combines soccer and hurdles…
(someone call the Olympic Committee and inform them of Thierry's new discovery):

Other pics that are...

hahahaha:

Aww...Mark Philippousis "rubs his eyes after missing a point" against Mardy McFly, uh I mean Mardy Fish:

Roddick the Rockette (actually he is kicking because he missed a shot, but my caption is funnier):  

Becks in Braids - David Derek:

Thierry, there are people who rob banks dressed like that:

Soccer player Ronaldo auditioning for the Harlem Globetrotters (I'm kidding):

(Pics courtesy of Corbis)


June 18, 2003

A Price Put on Patriotism

Selling patriotism…can you put a price on patriotism? Apparently you can - £25 million pounds (about $40 million). Ha, and they call the Beckham's materialistic.

At a time when his country should be making plans to call him Sir Beckham in the future (though he is young now, he really should be knighted eventually), it is now Señor Beckham, as he has been traded to Spain. 

What about patriotism. Beckham was associated with British patriotism, regardless of who doesn't want to acknowledge it. Even The Queen acknowledged his contributions to Britain, as she put him on the New Years Honors list last week (OBE), so who is anyone else not to acknowledge what he has done for his country.

I've never met Beckham or anyone from Man U and I have no vested interest in this, so I'm being unbiased. This isn't about Britain either, as it was Man U that traded him, not Britain. The situation seems quite unfair. 

I have nothing against England. I love all things English and half my family is from Britain. British culture has been a very significant part of my life since I was a child. I was raised to appreciate and understand many aspects of British Life. 

One of the things I've learned over the years is that Britain is a nation filled with patriotism and tradition. It honors and cherishes its own (well unless you are a product of a TV talent show - haha I'm kidding - still, some of these singers are talented). Therefore, I don't understand how Man U can let Beckham go. 

Four of his prime years have been sold to another country. No disrespect to Spain, as it is understandable that they would want to sign him -all soccer teams do…well, except Man U, of course.

I think the problem was he got too famous and with fame comes influence and some will resent that. However, you can't hold people back. 

Was it about money or was it a matter of Man U putting him in his place - and ironically, his place should be in England. A few years ago he had to leave his honeymoon earlier than he would have liked to report to work, but on other occasions he was benched when he was needed and wanted to play.

Based on what I've read, he wanted to stay and for all that he has done for Britain, Man U could have accommodated him - they really should not have put a price on that by selling him to another country.

And was it really a wise idea allowing Beckham to end up on the same team as Ronaldo. If they play at their best, that will be quite a duo.   

…Also, you know what this means - all the UK tabloids will be heading to Spain more often.

Note to journos: look at it this way; at least you can work on your tans and your Spanish. The likelihood of you finding sticky toffee pudding in Spain, I don't know.

Note to my fellow Americans: Soccer, a sport played with a circular, PVC or leather coated ball - teams are divided into groups of 11, with an anxious, edgy gentleman guarding each goal. I'm kidding.

Note to athletes: never become more popular than your sport or you will be punished for it.


October 9, 2003

Soccer Rape Allegations

Is it just me or is the English soccer team more like an emergency room (casualty) right now? Patch them up and send them out there - hey, a little pain never hurt anybody! It's mostly sprains and fractures anyway - its not like they broke anything or have concussions.

Speaking of soccer, for the last few weeks, there have been particularly bad stories in the press about English soccer players. Two of the stories have been about alleged rapes and one involving a 17-year-old girl who they claimed looked 22.

The 17-year-old girl said she consented to sleep with a well known soccer player who she met at a bar and went back to his hotel room with, but was allegedly gang raped when several of his friends unexpectedly walked in the room.  

Sadly, some soccer players have bad reputations due to their sexually illicit behavior, which lends an air of credibility (and believability) to these stories, regardless of what took place. It's amazing, in reading the feedback on that story, people overwhelmingly believe the soccer players are guilty. While that isn't right, as you are innocent until proven guilty, if certain soccer players didn't commonly behave so badly, the whole sport wouldn't be stereotyped. 

As I wrote on the diary page today, when my mom was my age and on vacation alone, a soccer player scared her when he kept knocking on her hotel room door trying to get her to sleep with him. Unbeknownst to her at the time, he had followed her from the lobby. She didn't open the door and he gave up after a while. That and worse has happened to other women and those men give the sport a bad name. 

There are decent soccer players who almost have to apologize for being soccer players due to other people's behavior. They feel the need to reassure or explain to people that they are decent and ask them not to hold the behavior of the stereotypical soccer player against them.  

I know a lot about English culture. I love England; have since I was a child. Therefore, it's not anything against England. It's just certain soccer players whose behavior is inappropriate. 

I've read British newspapers and magazines for years and so often there are articles about the shameful behavior of soccer players and on a weekly basis. There is a set that's known for this.

There are so many stories of that nature that have become common headlines. Here are a few mock headlines I've made up that are similar to ones that are commonly printed: soccer player falls out of club drunk, soccer player in club brawl, soccer player having an affair, soccer player caught taking drugs (I'm not referring to Ferdinand), soccer player harasses local, soccer player physically threatens employee, soccer player thrashes local, soccer player engaged in illicit sexual behavior. It's a wonder some of them get around to playing any soccer. Some are more known for their off pitch shenanigans than their actual soccer and that's sad. 

A lot of times you see the same players names mixed up in these scandals, yet they don't change their behavior. Why? because some people treat them like they are better than everyone else, inflate their egos and let them get away with inappropriate conduct without serious consequences. The FA tries, but the fines are like pocket change to most players. However, suspensions are more serious.     

I've never liked those reports because it's a very poor reflection of the sport. A dream of mine has been to start a soccer team, but a concern has always been the standard behavior of a lot of soccer players.

It's almost like they are expected to behave badly and many of them live up to that stereotype. Some of them are young and aren't used to the attention from women and behave in a totally inappropriate manner. There are also women throwing themselves at them mostly because they are famous and they want to show off that they are dating them or slept with them, not because they love them. It's even worse when the athlete is attractive, as they go after those the most and sadly destroy those the most as well. 

It is not God's will for anyone to sleep around and that kind of behavior has a price. Some people use their logic/reasoning and think how can it harm them if they use protection, which by what's been written has a significant failure rate, that they will walk away unscathed, but that's not how God works. There's a price people pay for that type of behavior and it isn't always apparent at first.  

I read an article about NBA athletes who sleep around especially on tour and the story was appalling. It mentioned one basketball player who gives parting gifts such as diamond tennis bracelets. Another sends bodyguards over to tell the woman what is expected of her. You can't behave like that and not expect it to catch up with you. God would not allow that to go unpunished. Quit while you're ahead and alive.  

A lot of these guys don't even know whom they are sleeping with. They think the person looks good and that's it. The person could have AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases, which have lasting effects. Not to mention some of these women they are sleeping with are married or improperly divorced, but these guys don't know it or understand and all that stuff is bringing the sin of adultery on them for which people pay a heavy price (though God will forgive you if you ask).

Then there is the common problem of teammates and friends egging them on to do questionable things and them trying to outdo each other to prove how supposedly manly they are by engaging in conduct they know is wrong. 

Peer pressure and so-called friends will sometimes mislead you. Some will arrogantly miscalculate certain women and end up in trouble or regretting their actions as a result. Some friends will arrogantly suggest things that can ruin your life and someone else's.

There was obviously some serious miscalculation in the story of the alleged rape of the 17-year old girl because it is now a criminal investigation. I find it difficult to believe they all got the same stupid idea at the same time. Someone had to have suggested it, then the others went along with it. 

Actually, papers reported it's a common practice among certain athletes called "roasting." A writer from the The Telegraph wrote: 

"He used the word 'roasting' to describe 'seducing girls with huge shows of wealth' and enticing them into degrading group sex and partner swapping."

"He denied that there was any rape and claimed that matters only turned sour when the men gathered in the hotel room for breakfast and began discussing the night while the girl was in the bathroom."

These guys swap partners, but in cases like that one, it went horribly wrong and now it's front page news around the world bringing shame on the whole sport. Sleeping around is a sin and orgies are a bigger sin. Once again, God can forgive it if the person asks, but there are consequences.  

She said she consented to sleep with the one she met at the bar, while they said she consented to sleep with all of them. How did anyone in their right mind think any of that was a good idea. They are seriously misled. 

How could anyone say they are your friend and encourage you to behave like that. A friend would tell you the truth and look out for you, not encourage you to do something that could ruin your life. Some athletes will face linebackers on the field and not be afraid of them, yet off the field turn into wimps when their friends egg them on to do something they know is wrong such as using and degrading women. 

I remember a sermon I heard where the preacher talked about a group of high school athletes that would use girls, then turn around and brag to their friends about sleeping with them. They said some really vulgar, awful things about the girls. Ironically, sometimes those stories get back to the girls and others as well and the guy ends up looking bad.  

People make mistakes, but the behavior mentioned above is just plain reckless. Sometimes people take the grace of God for granted thinking they've behaved a certain way before, therefore nothing will ever go wrong, but it never works that way. A smart person would leave that type of illicit behavior alone. Some will learn from what happened to others, take heed, listen and change their ways, but some people won't, they'll continue down that path until it ruins them and they end up regretting their actions. 


February 21, 2004

The Trophy file - Roddick won the Siebel Open and looking at that pic I couldn't help but think, my mom would turn that into a vase and put flowers in it. A shame, I know -Aisha self-righteously shakes her head- (kidding):

Well, somebody got a haircut.

 photo credit: BEI and andyroddick.com 

And this trophy...she'd make into a mini punch bowl...why, mom, why -Aisha self-righteously shakes her head again- (kidding). Miami resident Fernando Gonzalez winning the Bell South Open in his native Chile - you should hear his forehand crack through the wind, you'd think it was a dubbed in sound effect: 

...and somebody didn't get a haircut. I'm just kidding, your hair looks nice. Your Latin, running away from scissors is apart of your heritage (just don't run with them). Hey, I understand, my grandmother was Latin as well and she had hair down to her waist.  

photo credit: The BellSouth Open 

Speaking of hairstyles, I saw the soccer match between Chelsea and Portsmouth last week and like I've said on here for months, the Latin soccer players, especially the Argentineans, always have the best curls! Check out Hernan Crespo's curls. You know, I'm tired of footie players having better highlights and curls than I do. Between Beckham's great highlights and Hernan's great curls, I don't know which one of them upset me more (kidding).

photo credit: hernancrespo.net


April 11, 2004

The Stuff People Say When They Have A Book To Sell...

I read an interesting article in the Washington Times this week about September 11th. Some have accused the Bush administration of not doing enough to protect the country from the attack. The article made reference to the Clinton administration, who the writer stated "did not consider al Qaeda an urgent threat." Here's an excerpt: 

"The final policy paper on national security that President Clinton submitted to Congress — 45,000 words long — makes no mention of al Qaeda and refers to Osama bin Laden by name just four times. The scarce references to bin Laden and his terror network undercut claims by former White House terrorism analyst Richard A. Clarke that the Clinton administration considered al Qaeda an "urgent" threat, while President Bush's national security adviser, Condoleezza Rice, "ignored" it."   

I know people are angry and seek to place blame, but that blame should fall on the terrorists. To blame either administration for not protecting the country from 9/11 is unfair, as September 11th was unprecedented. Most people watched it on their television screens in utter disbelief. How could any government really anticipate that kind of evil. As much as most people know the terrorists' elevators don't go all the way to the top, if you catch my drift, people really weren't expecting anything like what occurred.   

Try as governments around the world may, none are omnipotent. Let’s be realistic. How do you guard a nation against the type of fanaticism that is al Qaeda. It would mean policing all 270,000,000 + people in America, placing severe restrictions on its citizens, meticulously monitoring all the middle east and terrorist factions in Britain, France and other parts of the world. That would be a monumental task for any government. I don’t know one government who would have the capability or the resources to do that. And even then the goal of perfect security would not be humanly reachable. It would take God to do what many are demanding. Some people's security demands ironically allude to Him. 

- Speaking of tell all books, I thought it was grossly irresponsible of the authors of that Kurt Cobain book to blatantly implicate his widow, Courtney Love, as his alleged murderer and on national TV with only hearsay as proof. Was that really the way to go about it? At least with the Notorious BIG, there is compelling evidence and they went about getting it heard in the right manner, but in Love's case, so far, there is not. Investigative journalism or irresponsible journalism? 

-  I spoke to my dad on the phone a few days ago, who was stunned at claims Rita Marley, the widow of late singer Bob Marley, made in a British newspaper, stating that Marley (allegedly) raped her. Why weren't these accusations made while he was alive? He can't defend himself now. And what about his children, whom she is the mother of. They are going to have to deal with the effects of these accusations as well. For their sake, the allegations are regrettable. Coincidentally, Mrs. Marley has a book coming out.

Whatever happened to actually writing a good book and letting it sell itself or do people think the public is so stupid now that they won't attempt to read a book unless a country, a government or a singer are maligned or maliciously slandered (well, libeled) in its text.

There are some of us who would buy it simply to find out the author's perspective on the life of the subject of the book. Individuals like us have kept the book industry afloat for years...without the sensationalism, might I add.    

- This week British newspapers were flooded with stories about soccer player David Beckham allegedly cheating on his wife. Rebecca Loos, the woman accusing him of adultery has been selling her stories to the tabloids. If you ask me, Ms. Loos stories belong in a loo (toilet). 

A few months ago I saw the pics they ran where she flirted with him. I thought she was out of line tossing her split end ridden hair over her shoulders as she flirted with and leaned on him (Yes, I’m being mean, as I couldn't tell if she had split ends from the resolution of the pics). When I saw the pics I wanted to grab her by the ear and pull her out of the room (never mind I wasn't there). In these stories she acts as though she's accomplished something, when no one is impressed. 

Someone has a nice family, why can’t you just be happy for them and wish them well. Why would you want to ruin someone's family. To do so is a grievous sin. God forgives it, but you pay for it in this life and if it is not repented of, meaning you stop committing that sin and ask for forgiveness, you pay for it in the next one as well. 

And these stories...why do they write them like that. Does sex really last that long (stop laughing at me, I’m serious). These stories don’t sound physiologically possible. If sex lasted as long as these articles claim when would you have time to do anything else?

The story is just another sad reminder of how people covet other people's lives. They see your life and want it. The pics I really didn't like was of her playing with his children. 

- This is a follow up to the February 3rd, 2004 Sound Off Article regarding the Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake Super Bowl incident. In that article I wrote that publicity stunts don't sell more records and sometimes you risk losing apart of your audience who were offended. Janet's new album debuted this week at #2 with 381,000 copies sold, which in itself isn't bad, but it's half of her previous album's first week sales. Sometimes artists experience sales declines, but the Super Bowl incident did cost her sales. I'm sorry it happened, as she really seems like one of the few nice celebrities.  

- In soccer this week...when most soccer players get a yellow, then a red card (penalties), they usually leave the field angry (or crying). However, after receiving a yellow card, then red card, Blackburn Rover Barry Ferguson proceeded to attack the player that he got the cards regarding. Guess he figured he is already getting sent off, might as well kick some butt too.

A few months ago, I watched a news item about a South Florida businessman attempting to increase his shares in Manchester United (soccer team), in what was viewed as a step in becoming the largest shareholder in the team. Man U is a British institution. If he did get controlling interest in the team, I think it would cause more mouths to drop than when Mohamed Al Fayed bought Harrods. As I wrote, Man U is a British institution, as is Harrods...and marmite. 

Speaking of marmite, I've heard one too many jokes about British cooking over the years (comments like "over cooked meat," "mushy vegetables” or "soggy vegetables"). I'm tired of people making fun of British cooking. They’ve got great signature dishes. As with any meal, it depends on the cook. Having said that, there's lots of great British food out there. 

Have you ever tried Stilton cheese (that should be classified as an hallucinogen - just joking). I gave my godbrother a piece of stilton the other day and the expression on his face was even funnier than when he was two and bit into a raw onion (probably thought it was an apple or something)...the raw onion of course, being more bland than the stilton. If you do decide to try stilton, make sure you're sitting down.


June 5, 2004

I read an article about Real Madrid trying to sign Manchester United soccer player Ruud Van Nistelrooy. They’ve already signed Beckham, a former Manchester United soccer player. If they sign one more Man U player they are gonna have to rename the team Real United. I’m just kidding.


June 16, 2004

In soccer…last week, when asked about Arsenal teammate and France Eurocup opponent, English soccer player Ashley Cole said:

"John and Sol are well equipped to play against Thierry. Sol plays up against him all the time in training and John has played against him in the Premiership (for Chelsea).”

Ok, so basically there was no plan for containing Thierry, then (I’m totally kidding). Sol and John play very well.

My dad says mental game is a big part of winning. To make his point, he hilariously said, “If you have an argument with your wife before the match, you’re gonna lose!” You guys may wanna think about that next time. Tell Thierry’s wife that he’s been making jokes in the locker room about her cooking. It would be difficult for him to play at his best after being clocked with a frying pan. I’m just kidding. 

Ashley’s other game plan:

"We had a title to win and a record to beat but towards the end I was telling Thierry Henry I would be looking to kick him, if I can catch him!”

Ashley, trying to kick him wouldn’t have been right…tripping him would have been better. If you kick him, you’ll get carded. You cannot effectively explain to a ref why you kicked someone. Trip him and you can argue and say “I didn’t trip him, he fell over my foot!” or “he’s normally my teammate, why would I trip him? I thought he looked a bit unsteady on his feet and I was trying to hold him up with my foot.”

To Thierry: Why couldn’t you have been born in England. You know, croissants and scones really aren’t that different (ok, yea they are) a little clotted cream and jam on them and you won’t know the difference (ok, yea you will). I’m just kidding, nothing against either country. 

However, England coach Sven -Goran Eriksson was more optimistic about England’s chances against France:

Eriksson told reporters: "To be honest, whatever you play, Zidane (France) will be a headache. He's a headache for everyone.”

Well, at least Sven was optimistic, right…ok, not really. And a headache Zidane was. I mean, what was he thinking scoring those goals. How dare he! (Aisha glaring at Zidane…I’m joking).

Me personally, I think if you can spell Zinedine Zidane’s entire name, you should be entitled to a free kick (just teasing…and like my name is any easier to spell). I call him ZiZi and Z-Ziddy (get it, like P Diddy…ok, another bad joke). So nice his mama named him twice (yea, that was a corny joke on my part as well). Both his first and last names begin with “zi” and end with “ne.” His official nickname is Zi-Zou Zi-Zou, though.

Speaking of Ashley wanting to kick Thierry…it brings me to the next subject of athletes disputing calls. You can tell by the looks on their faces that they did something (I'm completely kidding with these jokes):

Roddick: What did I do?

 

Umpire: What did you just say about my mother?

Taylor: ooo you heard that?

 

Ref: Foul!

Gary: Don't make me come over there!

Kobe: I don't know how much longer I can hold him back.

 

Seedorf: "What just happened?" (Soccer- A discombobulated Seedorf after being fouled/tackled/body slammed).

 

Ref: Foul!

Carmelo: It wasn't me. It was Allen Iverson. You're confused cause we both have braids.

Ref: You aren't even playing against Philly tonight.

Carmelo: What does that have to do with anything!

Other funny sports pics:

Gustavo Kuerten standing by an injured John Van Lottum.

Gustavo Kuerten: Oh get up you big baby. It's just a sprain, fracture in seven places and a mild concussion.

 

Bryan Twins, Mike and Bob (tennis)

Bob: You look familiar. Where have I seen you before?

Mike: Uh, in the mirror. We're twins remember.

 

Felix Mantilla: They're not gonna show my match on ESPN! (insert crying here).

(a little tennis joke regarding people complaining that ESPN doesn't show tennis matches featuring foreigners).

Pics courtesy of Corbis


July 10, 2004

Congrats to Greece on winning Euro Cup -says Aisha resentfully- (I wanted England to win). You've already won the bid to host the Olympics, did you have to win Eurocup too. I'm just teasing, congrats.


October 11, 2004

About a year ago I wrote about Lithuanian American, South Florida businessman and Tampa Bay Buccaneers owner, Malcolm Glazer, trying to acquire controlling interest in British soccer team Manchester United and how I didn't think it was a good idea - and boy was I right! I wrote in that article that certain companies and businesses like Man U are British institutions. This week it was announced that someone believed to be Mr. Glazer made a bid to buyout two other major shareholders - a move that would make him the largest shareholder. Now, Mancunians are protesting, defacing property and threatening to beat the Florida tan off Mr. Glazer (okay, they didn't say they were gonna beat the Florida tan off him, I added that part, but they did say they were gonna beat him down). Yea, I think you've ticked them off.

Fans are threatening to fly to Tampa, Florida and protest at Buccaneer games. Nothing worse than a Brit with 8 hours worth of jet lag, who's ticked off cause you tried to buy their favorite soccer team.

Like I said, I read Brits are threatening to come to Tampa and protest. Um, I was just wondering, is "protesting" the new politically correct term for "hooliganism." You guys have to keep me up to date with these things. I'm just kidding.

To Mr. Glazer, my fellow Floridian, I say this in the kindest way:

What were you thinking. Have you lost your mind! Do you know what this will mean for the rest of us. I'm gonna have to say I'm from a US state they've never heard of so as not to get pelted with the eggs and rotten fruit meant for you: 

Where in America do you live, lass?

Aisha: um, Wisconsin?

What is Wisconsin known for?

Aisha: Uh, cheese.

There's a well known phrase/song that goes, "London is Burning" - do you want them to burn down the city of Manchester! (well, it would make it warm for once - just kidding).

I wouldn't even want to own Man U and I love soccer and my family came from Britain in the late 1800's. Why? because it's like buying a British landmark - and you just don't do that. 

It's like when Al Fayed bought Harrods. By the way, dude, let it go, you're never gonna get that passport! (LOL) I'm just kidding.

In closing, Mr. Glazer, if you leave now, there will be enough time to move to a remote country where you can change your identity and start a new life. I'm just kidding. Glazer, you're a brave man!

Man U has been my dad's favorite soccer team since he was a boy. I have become an outcast in the family for finally admitting I support Arsenal, their main rival (and it feels good to say it out in the open now). And even though my family is not amused that I like Arsenal, their numerous victories have helped to wipe away my tears (haha).


 

January 15, 2005

After the Manchester United v. Arsenal match a few weeks ago, it seems a few players from Arsenal pelted Man U coach Fergie, no, not Sarah Fergusson, Alex Fergusson with food (pizza ect).

Did Victoria Beckham pay you guys to do that? I'm just teasing. 

Beckham's absence really showed in Man U's unusually less than stellar results last year. I guess it's vindication for him after the manner in which he was traded and all the ways that trade has affected his life on and off the pitch. I hope everything will be ok.


February 14th, 2005

Read the Beckham’s just welcomed another baby into the world. They named him Cruz. When I read that I thought Santa Cruz, which means Holy Cross. So the baby’s name means cross, which is nice…well, in England they may think he is angry, as cross means angry in the UK. Just kidding.

That’s a very nice name and congrats to them.

Beckham's got his own little soccer squad now. Mom can be the referee. You know the youngest will never get carded (yellow or red card fouls). Moms always go easy on the youngest.  

Speaking of Beckham, his former team, Man U, whose management –cough- Fergie, unceremoniously traded him to Spain for 22 million pounds, will not be amused to find out that Real Madrid, the Spanish team Beckham now plays for, saw a 50 million pound surge in profits in his debut year due to merchandising deals.  

That means they’ve already made double what they bought his contract for and moved up to #2 in earnings according to a London Times article. That coupled with Man U’s dip in the premiership the first season after the trade all point to a bad business move on their part. 

He was playing well and bringing in a lot of revenues for the club via merchandising sales, but Fergie traded him anyway.  

What happened would have been the American equivalent of the Chicago Bulls selling Michael Jordan to a foreign country at the peak of his career.  

However, that’s not to diss Spain, as it’s a lovely country and the decision showed real business acumen on their part. 

The Queen did graciously give Beckham an OBE for his accomplishments, which in my opinion helped to diffuse what happened. 

However, the whole thing was an interesting study of the diametric between coaches and their teams…and how far reaching bad decisions can be. Who would have thunk it.  

People ought to think about their decisions very carefully and the effect it has on others and their families. With authority comes responsibility and misusing it always has its consequences. Decisions should be made with integrity and everyone’s best interest at heart.


April 27, 2005

SPORTS: Preventing Injuries

Sports injuries are difficult, however there are ways to minimize them. According to Merck, more than 10 million sports injuries are treated each year. That's a lot of jacked up athletes.

A lot of experts say stretching helps. Warming up properly is and wearing heel inserts is another. The AAOS (American Academy Of Orthopedic Surgeons) has a helpful web site with tips on how you can prevent sports injuries. It is even chronologically listed by sport and issues like "heat injury" (and no that's not a pun on the Miami Heat). If you are an athlete you should read the tips found at this AAOS link: http://www.aaos.org/wordhtml/prevspor.htm

*Aisha Music Disclaimer - The above mentioned advice on preventing sports injuries will not help you if you are a professional athlete who is targeted by other players because you play too well and are subsequently the victim of flagrant fouls on the job that encompass kicks and karate chops, also known as assault.

Slipped Discs

I read a wonderful article on netdoctor.co.uk about slipped discs. This is something that has happened to me three times in the last 8 years, but I didn't know what it was until my dad told me, as he had that problem as well when he was younger. There are ways to prevent slipped discs, which is something athletes sometimes have. My dad had this condition when he was younger and playing soccer professionally (sports injuries). He loves sports, which as most athletes know, can put a lot of wear and tear on the body. A British coach realized the problem and was able to tell him what to do to correct it. He had to do exercises to strengthen his back and abdominals and that corrected it. He's not had those problems since. It's always best to avoid back surgery if possible.


May 31st, 2005

Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Man U Sold

Chelsea won the premiership. I'm not amused. I wanted Arsenal to win. How could Chelsea win. That's a girl's name!

Just kidding. No internet hooliganism, please. However, Arsenal won the FA Cup and even sweeter, beat Man U, their top rival, who've been sold.

Manchester United have been sold to Tampa Buccaneers owner Malcolm Glazer, much to fans dismay. They are concerned about his takeover practices with past franchises and are worried about the future of their team.

In other news, Liverpool came back from behind to beat AC Milan in the UEFA Cup final in Turkey. That match was another reminder that you should never give up until the game is truly over.

   

 


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